Your Parents Will Affect Your Marriage

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

27 Apr 2009 05:17 PM

Whether we like it or not, our parents and the way they brought us up will affect our marriage. You might choose to follow their example or you might look at what they did and decide you need to do the opposite.

Children who come from families that have divorced and especially those divorced multiple times, can often have a problem themselves when it comes to marriage. They may be hesitant to commit because they've seen first hand how easily marriages can break down.

If your mother has been one who put her children's needs over that of her husband, you might determine that in this case that was wrong and make more of an effort to put your husband first, which is the way I believe it should be. However if the husband and wife were so obviously a couple that children felt unwanted and an intrusion on their lives and those things the parents wanted to do, that is obviously the other side of that problem. Marriage and parenting is all about striking the right balance.

Similarly the child who had both mother and father working might decide it was okay and follow suit. Alternatively they may decide to do the opposite and make sure despite financial hardship, they will stay home with their children whatever the cost. A woman I knew from years ago, always wanted a school uniform with a hem let down mark in it. To her that signified a family on one income, where the mother stayed home to care for her kids. She'd always had a working mother and a new school uniform each year. So, to her that let down uniform became a symbol of a mom at home. When she married and had her family, she determined at all costs to be unlike her mother and be a stay at home mom.

What about your marriage? Do you see how your parents have affected your marriage?

Related blogs

Dealing with the In Laws

The Effect of Parents on Parenting

Are Your Core Values the Same?

A Child's Eye View of Parents

Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

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