Search Results for: blog you cant always fix everything

Finding Your Identity in Your Marriage

I never thought much about my life growing up. At times in my adult life when I’ve considered getting married, having kids, I didn’t have anything but my own thoughts at that time to rely on. It’s strange because I’m an obsessive planner for short-term details, but I can’t think of any point in my life when I’ve had a vision for the future. As a kid I always had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up: veterinarian, zoologist, reporter for National Geographic Magazine, but those were always just fleeting childhood whimsies. I never pictured myself … Continue reading →

Are You a Meddling Mom?

The other day I was reading a devotional that really convicted my heart. It was about trusting in your own ways and interfering in other people’s business. Almost immediately what came to my mind were my children. It dawned on me that I had become a meddling mother. One of the things this devotional said was that if you are frantically trying to figure out what to do—panic mode—then this is a clue that we have to slow down, take a deep breath and most importantly…take a giant step back. There are many occasions as a parent in which we … Continue reading →

Money isn’t Everything

The thought that money is not everything may seem odd to mention in a blog that is all about money, but it is necessary to do so. In our focused rush to get ahead, it is important to take a second to stop and breathe. Money does NOT make the world go round. Often we imagine that those who make over $200,000 a year are happier than we are in our lives. Seriously, though, they most often are not. Jobs that pay those kinds of salaries are extremely demanding. Not only do they add stress, they take away from your … Continue reading →

Searching for That Spark

Yesterday Jon and I were watching one of our television shows. It’s a fantasy action series, but sometimes it contains romance. In this episode, two of the main characters are dating. They call each other first thing in the morning, and the girl guesses what the guy is wearing. She always gets it within two tries. Cue huge groans from the couch. Our displeasure continued for the entire episode, as the couple’s saccharine take on dating persisted. I’ve always been clear: this type of romance, not my cup of tea. While Jon and I were soppier than we are now, … Continue reading →

Is There Such a Thing as Too Nice?

Is there such a thing as being too nice? When we’re in a relationship with someone, particularly when we’re married, we learn the answer to that question: yes. It’s not necessarily that too much niceness is bad, but that what one person might interpret as nice isn’t so great for the other. A friend and I were talking about that today in relation to our husbands. She shared that one time, her husband managed to bring home a big chocolate cake on the first day she was starting a new diet, something he knew about. Another time he kept filling … Continue reading →

The Harmful “Him” vs. “Her”

I know that men and women think differently. My first impulse is to examine how much of that is natural and how much is a result of cultural conditioning, but that’s a study for another time, and really another blog. What I want to focus on today is the sort of “us” vs. “them” mentality that arises sometimes, and how that might affect marriages. I had to read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” for a high school health class. I found it abhorrent, and said as much in my paper on the book. I understand as much … Continue reading →

Living with Engineers: Tales of Efficiency

There are a lot of engineers out there in the world, and so there are a number of us married to them. Based on conversations I’ve had with other spouses of engineers, I’ve learned it’s not just me: it can be a unique, strange, and funny experience living with an engineer. The first thing you need to learn if you’re the husband or wife of an engineer is that your spouse will always think that their way of doing something, is the best way of doing it. The magic word is “efficient.” Learn it well, because you’ll be hearing it … Continue reading →

Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 2

Last time I examined the discussion over whether or not men should have to wear wedding rings. Just about all of the arguments either for or against skipped one relevant consideration: whether or not women should have to or even enjoy wearing them. Only one article I found briefly acknowledged the idea: the author said that neither of her parents has worn a wedding ring for decades, for a variety of reasons. That’s all we’ve got: in the wedding rings debate we have in-depth considerations of male class traditions, shifting perspectives of masculinity, and a man’s role in a marriage, … Continue reading →

Planning Special Moments

In the past two weeks I’ve looked at planning romantic moments for your spouse, making them feel special, and how to cope with missing your spouse even when he or she is more or less around. How do all of these things come together? In me trying to plan special things for my husband. Now that Jon has completed grad school I want to do something special for him. Parties he hast to host are too draining for him, so that’s out. I thought of the perfect idea: I’d bake him a cake. Not just any cake, but a black … Continue reading →

One Category a Month

When it comes to your budget, there is almost always room for improvement. If you are just starting out then you may have several areas to work on. If you have been budgeting for a few years you may find that you are starting to become slack in a few areas. One way to easily reevaluate your budget on a regular basis is to take a look at one category a month to see if you need to make any adjustments. This approach is great because it helps you stay focused on the bigger picture of your money goals, while … Continue reading →