Will You Marry Me?by Heather Long | More from this Blogger 07 Jul 2006 11:00 AM For Grandma and Grandpa, getting engaged was a no-brainer. He asked, she said yes. It was a low-key moment, probably just a few months before the actual wedding. There might have been a ring, but maybe not. The engagement ring wasn't the thing - the wedding ring was. The modern engagement is an entirely different story. In fact, it's such a different story that it can be nearly grotesque the levels that a young couple are expected to go to in order to meet the Engagement Expectation. Before the wedding, before the huge ceremony that averages around $20,000 - the Engagement is the big deal that starts the whole shebang running. High Stress Comes with High Expectations With all the high expectations associated with getting engaged - it should hardly seem surprising that there is a lot of stress associated with it as well. The idea of marriage and engagement is powered by the popular culture vision in movies, television and more. Too many people have the idea that to get engaged and get married - they need to be perfect. In order to be perfect, they need to create the perfect moment. They need to be original or super special - they need to make their bid for engagement. They want the moment to be so perfect that they can impress their potential spouse with their cleverness. It's like, their entire relationship - everything that they love about each other - comes down to this one crucial event. Blow the engagement proposal by failing to get it exactly right and presenting the perfect ring and well - it's all down hill from there. Would it surprise you to learn that:
The sad condition of this is that our desperate desire to find perfect can leave couples with an unrealistic view of married life. After all, once you've achieved the perfect engagement and the idealized wedding - where does one go from there? Your relationship should never be boiled down to how spectacular the engagement was or whether there were footmen attending you at the wedding or a hundred pink rose petals littering the aisle where you walk. Your relationship was there before he said the four little words and it will be there after she answers those four little words. So focus on that - and leave the dog and pony show for television and the movies. How did your proposal go? Learn more about Heather Long  Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments No comments on this article yet. Be the first to comment! Community Tags engagement, expectations, engagement ring, getting married, proposals Discuss this article
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