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Mormons and Divorce – Part Two: What are Grounds for Divorce?

As I stated in my previous blog in our “Mormons and Divorce” series, the goal is to do whatever it takes to keep our marriages strong and healthy so we can be together eternally. However, this is not always possible. While every situation is different and I can’t speak for your leaders or pretend to know more about your circumstances than I do, here are some examples of times when your Church leaders might be inclined to support your decision to divorce. Adultery. The Church has a firm stance on adultery and members who commit this sin will most generally … Continue reading →

Why Marry the Same Person Twice?

Have you ever wondered why anyone would marry the same person twice? We hardly wonder why one person agrees to marry another person – we assume they fall in love or that an arrangement has been reached where marriage is the mutually decided upon choice. But when that couple separates and divorces – why would they then marry each other again? An Imperfect World There can be any number of reasons why a couple once divorced, may reunite. Two reasons offered by two different couples who married, divorced and then remarried offer some insight into this question. I recently discussed … Continue reading →

Is Divorce What’s Wrong with Marriage?

Some may read the title and think, “Well, duh!” Divorce, or more accurately, the ease with which people can now be granted a divorce may very well be one of the main reasons marriages fail. You might wonder if I got it backwards. Marriages –particularly bad ones- lead to divorce, but divorce doesn’t lead to a bad marriage, right? It depends. Easy or “no-fault” divorce may in fact lead people to look at marriage with the attitude of, “If I don’t like it, I can always get out of it.” That’s not the way marriage was intended to be undertaken, … Continue reading →

Vows and Divorce

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This is thankfully an area I’m no expert in. Divorce can be such a sensitive topic so I want to approach it with care. Our vows to our spouse probably included some of the following: To love and to cherish, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. According to Dan Hurley of The New York Times, divorce rates aren’t completely accurate and actually seem to be on a decline which is good news. Jesus clarifies divorce for us in Matthew 5:31-32, “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him … Continue reading →

10 Divorce Myths

Yes, this is a marriage blog and I rarely talk about divorce here, but let’s be honest – divorce is the sad post-mortem to a dead marriage. So let’s look at a few divorce myths as we talk about our July 10th top ten divorce myths. Second Marriages Are More Successful Divorce rates are often higher for remarriages than they are for first marriages. The myth is that most people who have been married and divorced have learned from this negative experience and are more likely to be successful in their second attempt. Unfortunately, statistics do not bear that out. … Continue reading →

Marriage and Happiness – is it possible?

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While divorce is nothing new in this country, when I read about long-term marriages coming to an end, ala the Gore’s, the Schwarzenegger’s, and the Edward’s, I start to wonder if it is even possible to stay married forever anymore. I hear a lot about the “old days’, but I have a lot of grandparents due to multiple re-marriages. My great-grandparents remained together, but one spouse died long before the other. So maybe those that stay married forever over a real long time period are the anomalies. Maybe now that we live longer and more women are able to support … Continue reading →

A Basic Human Right

Are you depriving your children of a basic human right? Shelter, food and love are basic human rights and ones that all children deserve to experience. But UK author Michael Morpurgo, has added another to that list. His view is that parents who don’t read to their children are depriving them of a basic human right. I agree. You might say time is the problem. I heard someone on the radio the other day say ‘time is a luxury item these days.’ Maybe so. But we all have the same number of hours in a day. No matter how busy … Continue reading →

More Recent Stats on Long Marriages, Part 1 – Definitions

Last week I provided some stats on long marriages from a U.S. Census Bureau document issued in February 2002 called Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996 by Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields. How I missed the more current one, I don’t know, but Jade “The Muse” walker pulled through again by sharing a link with me to a more recent document. Again, it was issued by the U.S. Census Bureau and was authored by Rose M. Kreider, but it is entitled Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2001 and was issued in February … Continue reading →

Did You Commit to Marriage Before You Even Were?

I did. I don’t remember exactly how young I was, but I knew early on I wanted to be married. I’m sure tales such as Cinderella had some impact on that notion, but they didn’t necessarily create the notion. It was there beforehand. Society also shaped some of my thoughts about marriage. Helped to define them, but definitely didn’t generate them. Good grief, I cringe thinking about what mixed-up concepts I’d have if I’d relied solely on my first impressions of marriage from society. Bacon See, there were a lot of mixed messages flying around about women’s roles in marriage … Continue reading →

Marriage Musings: Bad Memories

We all have bad memories. Days or places or things we’d like to forget. I’m not talking about the day where everything goes wrong (though I’m sure we’ve all had a few of those too). What I’m talking about are the bad memories related to the bad events that happen in our lives. For example, I remember the day my grandmother died. It’s a bad memory, though I am glad I was there and I was able to be there for my mother, the whole day is one blur of pain. It seems like whenever something goes truly wrong or … Continue reading →