When Your Personal Love Myth's Been Offended

by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger

16 Sep 2008 06:01 PM

Yesterday I wrote about how understanding your personal love myth might help you understand your relationship. Especially if you're having problems of the nature where your heart feels like it craves more, though you have no idea what it needs. Or is somehow unfilled, though you can't really explain why.

Maybe it's because your personal love myth's been offended.

Identifying the Problem

Have you ever found yourself in the predicament where nothing seems right in your relationship? This little thing irritates you. That little thing gripes you. But you don't know exactly why. All you know is it doesn't take much for your husband or wife to get on your nerves. It seems nothing they do is right.

When did it start? Do you remember? Are you annoyed by something your mate's doing? (Or not doing?) Or is it something you're expecting him or her to be doing based on your personal love myth?

I'll use the love at first sight example from yesterday's blog. Let's say the married woman in the example, having been married 25 years, is pretty wise. It only takes her a couple of days to realize it's not the way her husband is leaving his dishes by the sink, is breathing, or walking that's annoying her. It's his love at first sight comment.

"Honey, you know that comment you made about love at first sight being silly?"

"What comment?"

She patiently explains, then tells him why that bothered her.

Repairing the Problem

That's all she can do. Tell her husband what's been bugging her and why.

And that's all you can do if you find your personal love myth has been offended and is the cause of any discord in your relationship: Talk it out. Get to the root of the matter. And, hopefully, your spouse will be empathetic and understanding in their response.

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Learn more about Courtney Mroch

Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k.

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mc8541a (10) 17 Sep 2008 10:47 AM

I am truly surprise at the number of adults who are, yet, playing games. Are you serious, love at first sight? Married for twenty-five years? Believe me that sight has long since been blinded. A human's concept of love will change because we will never comprehend it fully. The constant Love is God's love. In his word he tells us, to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. That's all he asks and that's all we can do. You can never love your spouse more than you love yourself. If you believe that you are sadly mistaken. However, myths are for dreamers - people who chose to never face reality. You never love at first sight. You desire, wish, and/or lust at first sight because you are "judging a book by its cover." But, for women, God says to be submissive to your husband. I sympathize with the woman who lives so close to fiction and false identities.

Courtney Mroch (9169) 17 Sep 2008 01:13 PM

Very interesting comment, mc8541a. If there were a woman married 25 years who still believed in love at first sight I think that'd be kind of sweet. And I'm not sure I agree that "myths are for daydreams," but perhaps I don't fully understand where you're coming from on that? Myths are a part of all of our makeups whether we realize it or not. Even the bible is a sort of myth. All religions have them. As do all societies. I'm not sure we can escape myths. Perhaps you're trying to say we shouldn't let them guide us?