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Long Engagements: Yay or Nay?

What do you think of long engagements? Well, actually, what do you consider a long engagement to be? One year, three years? Ten years? I’ve known couples that have all been engaged for those periods of time. And while the standard seems to be a year and a half, it is not unusual for engagements to last longer than this. Are long engagements a good thing? There are a few reasons that couples decide to have a long engagement. The first, believe it or not, is to give the couple time to be able to plan out their dream wedding. … Continue reading →

Modeling Your Marriage for Your Kids

The other night at dinner, our four-year old daughter got very giggly, as little girls with their heads full of princesses and glittery things are wont to do. My husband and I looked back at her a few times and shrugged it all off to kid weirdness. We returned our attention to our dinners. A few minutes later, the giggling started again, along with a question, “Are you getting married again?” “We are already married, honey,” my husband responded. “Then why do you keep looking at each other?” she asked. Okay, this conversation was now getting interesting, I thought. We … Continue reading →

When Your Spouse Disappoints You

There are moments in your marriage when your spouse may disappoint you. If this happens, it is sometimes hard to know how to deal with the disappointment without making things much worse. Disappointment can come in many forms and be minor or major. it could be as simple as forgetting to pick something up at the store or a complicated as an extramarital affair. In some of the most difficult situations, the disappointment in your spouse can actually change the way you look at your spouse. Perhaps you never thought that he or she could do something that would disappoint … Continue reading →

Are You Really Listening to Your Spouse?

When you have been married a long time, your spouse can something feel like a comfortable sweater that fits just right and never needs any extra attention to adjust it. One of the downsides to this is that sometimes we really aren’t listening to our spouses when they talk. Back when you were dating or first married, I bet you held on to each syllable that your dear one uttered. You learned about your spouse this way, and were eager to discuss all sorts of things such as the philosophy of life. But once a few years goes by, are … Continue reading →

Are You to Blame for Your Spouse’s Affair?

If your spouse has an affair with someone else, should you take some of the blame? One issue that I see coming up in the forums often enough to be a concern is the subject of having a spouse who cheats. In many of the posts, the spouse who is being cheated on wants t figure out what he or she did wrong in the relationship to cause the cheating. There are many things in a married relationship that can lead to cheating. Often women cheat because they are feeling neglected or unloved. Men tend to cheat to increase their … Continue reading →

Cross-Gender Friendships

Many marriage experts debate whether or not being friends with a person of the opposite sex is healthy or a matter of playing with fire. What do you think? A cross-gender friendship is a friendship that a married spouse has with someone of the opposite gender. There are some pros and cons to having such friendships. On one hand, why should a spouse feel the need to give up on a long standing friendship just because he or she has gotten married? There are people that just tend to get along better with people of the opposite sex for one … Continue reading →

Love the One You’re With

When things get rough in a marriage, spouses tend to close off and then seek an outlet for their love somewhere else. But how much better would it be if these spouses instead focused on loving the one that they were with, even if they didn’t feel like doing so at the time. Unless you had an arranged marriage, then you have chosen your own spouse. You have chosen the one that you loved. My advice is that after marriage, you love the one you have chosen. Loving the one you have chosen can be difficult at times. You may … Continue reading →

Avoid Ultimatums in Marriage

Ultimatums are a relationship technique that is often ineffective and causes damage in itself. Why do we issue ultimatums and what are some better ways to deal with an issue? Let’s discuss ultimatums in marriage. Why are ultimatums used? In general, ultimatums will be used by someone who may be feeling a bit desperate. If you feel that your needs aren’t being met or if the relationship isn’t going the way that you want it to go, then you might issue an ultimatum. Frustration and lack of communication often breeds ultimatums. It is a way of putting everything out on … Continue reading →

The Art of Holding Hands

Holding hands is for young unmarried couples, right? Actually, holding hands can convey so much, both to your partner and to the world around you. Married couples should make a point to continue to hold hands through all phases of their married life together. Here is why. Holding hands declares to the world that you are a couple. Often the first sign of intimacy in a new couple, it also can mean that you are committed to the other person. People who don’t like to hold hands may be holding back in other areas of the relationship. When you are … Continue reading →

The Benefits of Making Shared Decisions

Making decisions together can lead to a happy Marriage. Studies have shown that making decisions alone can negatively impact a marriage. The person who is making the decisions is unhappy because they feel the entire weight of the responsibility. And the person who has no hand in the decision making may feel resentful or be left in a position of accepting something that they don’t want or don’t agree with. When making a mutual decision, both partners should be willing to be objective enough to look at the factors that will create the best overall outcome for the marriage and … Continue reading →