When Not to Have an Argument

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

So you have a frustration in your marriage that needs to be aired. You need to sit down and talk to your spouse. But there are times when you should definitely NOT start a deep and meaningful discussion or an argument.

You need to try and pick a time that is convenient to your spouse, which means not when they are in the middle if doing something like watching their favorite TV show. It means not bombarding them, when they are just come home from work and are tired. Or when you have just come home from work and the kids need feeding etc.

To attempt to have a significant conversation when you are both tired and emotional is pointless and can end up creating more problems. This is the time people often say things in anger, they don't really mean. If it is late at night and you need to go to bed, it is not the rime for an argument or in discussion. Neither is it the time when you are on your way to a party or an outing.

These are times a discussion needs to be put on hold. But the situation needs to be resolved, I hear you say. Then make a definite time to sit down and talk through whatever is the issue. Even if it means saying: 'There are some things we need to talk about. When is a good time?'

You may even have to cancel other things in your lives to schedule time for this important discussion. Do it. After all, is anything more important than your marriage? It should take top priority.

Even so, you may only end up getting the conversation to a certain point. You know it's still not resolved but circumstances dictate that you have to call a halt. This is not necessarily a bad thing. The advantage of this is it gives each of you time to reflect, think about and pray about what has been said before coming back to resolve the issue.

A neutral place, not the bedroom, but somewhere quiet, like a park or beach could be a good choice to have a discussion.

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Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

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