"When Are You Going to Have Kids?"by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger 18 Sep 2007 02:20 PM Because Wayne and I have been together so long, we often get the question: When are you going to have kids? (Or some derivative thereof.) The Answer Probably never. The Inevitable Follow Up Questions "Can you have kids?" "Do you like children?" (for those who haven't seen us with kids), or "I can't believe you don't have any kids. You're so good with them. Are you sure you're not ready to be a mom?" (for those who have seen us with kids). "What are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger." The Inevitable Follow Up Answers No, we're not infertile. (That I know of. We've never tried to get pregnant so maybe one or the both of us is and we just don't know it.) Yes, I like kids. I enjoy being around them and have a good time interacting with them. Wayne likes kids too. He coached swim team for a number of years and is very good with children. I've never really had any formal structure guiding my interactions with kids, but I've always had a blast with friends', relatives', and neighbors' kids. I enjoy listening to their stories and seeing the world through their eyes. We're not waiting for anything, and, yes, we're both well aware we're not getting any younger. "So why no kids?" Well...that's the million dollar answer that's hard to nail down. The Reasoning I'm the lynchpin in our decision making. Wayne could go either way. If I want kids, fine. He's there for me. If not, he's cool with that too. I never really envisioned my life with kids. I also am the kind who needs to feel passionately about something before I commit to it, be it a marriage, job, or kids. Up until two years ago, I never had the "urge" to be a mom that I'd heard (or witnessed) so many of my friends experience. My biological clock's alarm went off unexpectedly -one afternoon in a Publix parking lot of all places. But just as quickly as it was activated, it was deactivated again. If it had lingered, I might have been chasing around a toddler right now rather than writing this blog. Related Articles Why Do Some Couples Choose Not to Have Children? Learn more about Courtney Mroch  Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments  Jade Walker (964) 23 Sep 2007 07:15 PMWhenever I get asked that question, I turn it around. Why should I have kids? To date, no one has given me a decent answer. Most people simply never think about it. They just do it. Or they get pregnant and deal with the consequences (which is insane, IMO). Occasionally, I'll hear "because you should," which is simply not a good enough reason. I say...have kids if you want them, truly want them. Have kids if you can afford to clothe, house, feed, insure and educate them. Have kids when you're ready -- mentally, physically, spiritual and emotionally. Or... don't.  Courtney Mroch (9169) 24 Sep 2007 06:52 AMHere, Here! Well put, JadeWalker. When Wayne and I first visited TN several years back we flew in to Nashville, rented a car and drove to Knoxville. On our way we saw this old station wagon pulling an even older camper. Those rounded aluminum tin kind that never fail to remind me of sardine cans. Anyway, the guy had a classic sign on the back of the camper which sums it all up succinctly: If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em. Every once in a while when I'm feeling ornery I'll use this one.... Community Tags deciding when to have kids, family planning, Kids, married without kids Discuss this article
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