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What They Need Most

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been taking an online organization course. I’ve always been the kind of person who makes to-do lists, and I like to stay organized. Now, note that I like to stay organized – I didn’t say it always happens, and the last two months have been absolutely crazy busy for me. As I sat contemplating my to-do list and following the course’s homework assignment of thinking about my priorities, I contemplated my family. I wanted to start listing all the wonderful things I was going to do for them, from color-coordinating their closets to fluffing … Continue reading →

Two Separate Lives

Sometimes listening to others talk, it seems that people view marriage very differently to the way Mick and I do. So often we hear stories where there are two TVs in two different rooms, so ’she can watch her shows and I can watch mine,’ one guy recently told us. I admit I don’t watch some things Mick watches. But they’re few. He tapes them and watches them on night when I am at music practice for church or some other activity. So no, we don’t spend all our tome together. We do spend the majority and that’s one of … Continue reading →

Changes in Marriage in USA

The other day I touched on some of the changes that have occurred with woman and work over generations. Of course this has had a huge impact on marriage as well. Looking back to the early seventies, and in particular 1972, here are some of the differences the women’s movement has made in marriage. These statistics are taken from the Time magazine article by Nancy Gibbs based on –’a statistical look back at the journey of American Women,’ by Andréa Ford and Deidre Van Dyk. In 1972 women over the age of 15 who were married was 62%. These days … Continue reading →

Who Am I to Judge?

It seems to be human nature to judge—whether we are judging other people, situations or events. As a single parent, sometime our jugmentalism comes from a place of feeling defensive or self-conscious. I know that I wrestle with catching myself judging other people and often it is somehow a reflection of my own feeling about myself. I have to remind myself that I definitely do not like being on the receiving end and feeling so judged, so who am I to judge others? I think it is incredibly typical for us as single parents to develop a thick shell and … Continue reading →

Is Divorce Just so Five Minutes Ago?

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Is it a time to celebrate? Is it a time to get cynical? Despite the image of Americans as divorce crazy and that you aren’t a real adult until you’ve got at least one divorce under your belt, it seems that the rate of divorce is at its lowest level since 1970. That’s pretty impressive when you consider that 1970 was 2 years before I was born and that the peak in the divorce rate occurred in 1981 when I was just 9 years old. So What Does This Mean? Apparently, that’s still undecided. Even the experts aren’t sure whether … Continue reading →

Why Marry the Same Person Twice?

Have you ever wondered why anyone would marry the same person twice? We hardly wonder why one person agrees to marry another person – we assume they fall in love or that an arrangement has been reached where marriage is the mutually decided upon choice. But when that couple separates and divorces – why would they then marry each other again? An Imperfect World There can be any number of reasons why a couple once divorced, may reunite. Two reasons offered by two different couples who married, divorced and then remarried offer some insight into this question. I recently discussed … Continue reading →

No Longer Attracted to Your Spouse?

Sex is no doubt a very important part of marriage; but it is just that—a part. As some people come to a dry spell in their relationship not finding their spouse as appealing sexually as they once had, the temptations of extramarital affairs might come to mind, divorce, resentment and blame, or even depression. It’s important to reel yourself back to the heart of marriage which hopefully wasn’t based solely on sexual attraction but on genuine love and devotion. My hope too is that you are married to your very best friend and meant every single word of your marriage … Continue reading →

Are You Over 50 and Dating?

If you are, then I’d say you are in good company. It used to be that when you were over the age of 50, especially if you were female, single or widowed, you were an object of sympathy for your married friends and peers. The idea of hearing wedding bells in this demographic is slim and I know a number of these women who all say the same thing – they don’t want to get married and the question they ask is why would they want to? Why Would They Want to Get Married? Single men in their 50s are … Continue reading →

Are You The Ham or the Eggs?

Are you the ham or the eggs? Seriously, are you the ham or the eggs? Yes, I am serious about the question. Thanks to Grey’s Anatomy last night, I have to applaud the writers for their efforts because now we have a great new catchphrase and it’s a great analogy for commitment and involvement in a relationship. The Analogy The question is: are you the ham or the eggs when it comes to your relationship. If you are the chicken and provide the eggs, you are not giving yourself fully to the relationship. You give the eggs, but you’re still … Continue reading →

Rules of Engagement –Stephanie Fowers

Welcome to the world of a Brigham Young University co-ed, where the emphasis is supposed to be on education, but is actually on the cute guys in the next dorm. In an atmosphere where dating is the thing to do, it’s hard when all your friends are in serious relationships and you’re, well, not. Samantha Skyler is twenty-five years old, practically an old maid by BYU standards. Her former relationship just didn’t work out, and now she’s looking for the perfect guy. The problem is, how to find him and how to hook him. Her roommates find themselves in similar … Continue reading →