Search Results for: blog what to do if your marriage if your marriage is in trouble

Divorce: A Bad Word

I will never forget when my children were younger and a neighbor child rang my doorbell to inform me that my son (who was about 7 years old at the time) had said a “bad” word.  “Really?” I responded.  “What did he say?” You could tell this kid was proud of himself, sure that after he told me, my son would be getting into some really big trouble.  Loudly he declared, “He said,” but then he barely whispered, “hell.”  I had to bend over to hear the word. Well as it turned out my son was apparently relaying a message … Continue reading →

Considering Your Spouse’s Point of View

The difference between knowing and really knowing, or feeling, something is amazing. I’m the first person to tell others that a key to any relationship, but especially a marriage, is trying to think from the other person’s point of view. It’s absolutely essential in a marriage, because we are spending the rest of our lives living with this person. The more we try to understand how our spouse thinks, the better off we’ll be. I know this, and yet it’s so hard for me to act on it. For example: once in a while my husband has to work the … Continue reading →

Detoxing your Life

The other day, I was on the phone with my best friend. We were complaining about aches and pains and how we didn’t think it could be stress because we just didn’t feel stressed. Then, we proceeded to complain about different things in our lives for the next 30 minutes. She laughed and said, “But, we aren’t stressed about anything!” Stress can affect our health – both mental and physical. But how can we detox ourselves of poisonous stress? First, ask yourself some honest questions. Do you get irritated easily? Do you always feel like you are rushing from place … Continue reading →

Introducing Your Kids to Someone New

One of things that many single parents wonder is when it is ok to introduce your children to someone new. While there is no straight forward answer, there are many things to consider as you are contemplating bringing someone new into your children’s lives. This is a tender time for children and can affect them in many different ways. Understand that this may be a difficult transition for your children and proceed with care. Before you introduce your children to someone, be sure to talk to them about it. Let them express their feelings to you about this new person. … Continue reading →

What Makes a Marriage Work?

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

Balancing Your Time

Childless couples face some different problems than couples with kids, but some of our issues are the same. One problem that I think any married couple has is spending time with one another. The specifics of the problem, however, vary whether or not children are in the equation. It’s well-known that finding time, period, when you have kids is a common conundrum. Finding time to do household chores, take a shower, spend time with your spouse, and still have some alone time can all be troublesome depending how many and what age children you have. Obviously Jon and I don’t … Continue reading →

Unpleasant Wedding Humor

I love injecting humor into weddings. The occasion can sometimes be taken too seriously, either made especially solemn or fraught with the nerves of invested parties that want everything to be perfect. So I’m all about taking things a little more lightly; my imagined and actual wedding invitations are proof of that. What I can’t get behind, however, is a certain brand of humor I often see or hear about at weddings or in the course of wedding planning. I hesitate to call it chauvinist or sexist but that’s ultimately what it is, or at least it springs from the … Continue reading →

My Fake High School Wedding

This is the story of how I planned my wedding in high school. I’ll give you all a moment to recover from the shock: Families.com’s laid-back marriage blogger, she of the gender stereotyping rants and “what’s the big fuss” attitude toward schmoopy romance and wedding culture planned a wedding in her high school days. Never fear: I did it because I had to for class. My crazy gym/health teacher, the same woman who’d also make us write papers for our self-defense gym classes, made all of her students plan weddings as part of our sexual health education unit. It had … Continue reading →

Contrasting Romances in Much Ado About Nothing

Perhaps my favorite example of my type of romance is the Shakespeare play “Much Ado About Nothing.” I like it because it’s a great play (the original romantic comedy), and I admit because a petty part of me likes the legitimacy Shakespeare lends my ideals of romance and marriage. Enter the two couples: the young Claudio and Hero, in starry-eyed infatuation with one another, and the older bickering Beatrice and Benedick, who always try to outdo each other in a war of wits. Benedick and Claudio are soldiers who made the acquaintance of Beatrice and Hero when they stayed at … Continue reading →

Help With Housework

The makers of Scrubbing Bubbles have released the results from their second annual Dirty Work Index. They surveyed 2000 men and women and found that women still do most of the housework and as much as we may complain about that, it doesn’t seem that we are ready to give up the housecleaning limelight. Most women say they want more help around the house but they are not confident that their husbands can clean to their standards so they just do it themselves. Men feel they are helping more around the house but are not getting credit for it, and … Continue reading →