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Lasting Love

Did you notice recently when I posted the article about the seven Fs I read about, that you need in a marriage the first one mentioned was friendship? That struck me at the time. The thing you might expect would be love. But no, it was friendship and food for thought. The trouble is love today has come to mean many other things. People talk about ‘falling in love’ when often it is a physical attraction or it’s tied up with lust and the sexual appeal of the other person. It’s how they feel when they are with them. We’ve … Continue reading →

Average Length of Marriages

Mary Ann posed an interesting question on a recent article, about the average length of marriages these days. It’s hard to track down exact statistics as there are so many variables, but here are a few things I found will give an idea of the length of the average marriage. In the United Kingdom in 2003, out of 153490 divorces, 40,599 divorces occurred during the first 5-9 years time frame. The next biggest number was between 10-14 years 29,831 and 20,923 in the 15-19 years period. What is interesting is the number that ends up in divorce after only 0-2 … Continue reading →

Marriage Tips From Two Long Lasting Marriages

I admit it I’m a romantic. Always have been and I guess always will be. So I love it when I come across real life romance stories, and to me there’s nothing more romantic than a couple who has been married for a long time and is still in love and married to each other. Today two couples share with us the secret of a happy, lasting marriage. Both couples have recently celebrated their 60 year wedding anniversary. You don’t get to celebrate a diamond wedding anniversary without having learned a few things along the way. First there is Jack … Continue reading →

Part 2 of Things to Discuss before Marriage

Yesterday we looked at things to discuss before marriage. Here are some more things on the checklist of things that should be discussed. Attitudes towards work and family life. The person, who is a workaholic or a professional student always wanting to gain new skills, can have a detrimental effect on marriage. They may have trouble making time and making it a priority to nurture their marriage and family relationships. Finances and whether you will have separate bank accounts or a joint account. Even if there is a joint account, will each person have their own spending money that they … Continue reading →

What People Say About Marriage

It seems everyone has something to say about marriage and not all of those who talk about marriage portray it in the best light. Famous books and famous authors have had something to say about marriage. Which of these quotes sounds most like your marriage? ‘In marriage, happiness is just a matter of chance’ – Pride and Prejudice. ‘I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh’ – Anna Quindlen, A Short Guide to a Happy Life ‘No man or … Continue reading →

Essentials for a Happy Lasting Marriage -Part 2

Yesterday I looked at five essentials for a happy lasting marriage. Today I am continuing with another five essentials. 6. Forgiveness Married life isn’t always go to go along smoothly. We all do things wrong and things that hurt or upset our spouse. It’s how we choose to deal with those things that is important. We can hold grudges and sulk but it never achieves anything, or we can choose to forgive them and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a choice, a decision of willingness to forgive. The old adage about not going to bed angry is … Continue reading →

A Radical View of Marriage?

Recently Mary Ann expressed concern about the idea of servant wives. I’d like to suggest we should be servant wives for our husbands, but also that our husbands be servant husbands for their wives. Now I admit my view of marriage is closely influenced by the biblical view of marriage. It is one that often causes controversy because it says ‘wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord,’ Ephesians 5:22. The word ‘submit’ just about causes an apoplexy in some people. ‘Submit? Me? You’re joking? What about my rights?” These are the types of comments it inspires. And yes, … Continue reading →

The Culture of Marriage

So often when we look from the outside in at other couple’s marriage, we can see certain elements that are not always apparent to the couple involved in the marriage. What we are seeing is the way that marriage operates or its culture. In a lot of buinesses and sporting teams they talk about the culture of the business or of the club. In his book Transforming Company Culture, David Drennan descrivbes culture is ‘what is typical of an organisation, the habits, the prevailing attitudes, the grown-up pattern of accepted and expected behavior.’ Surely, this is equally true of a … Continue reading →

The Effects of Alcohol on Marriage

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Excess alcohol can cause severe problems in a marriage. Like many people Mick and I enjoy the occasional glass of wine with a meal. Or he might enjoy a beer with his pizza, which is the occasional weekend meal. But that’s where it stops. Even Aussie actress Nicole Kidman was not immune. She recently admitted that her husband’s problems with alcohol had severe consequences for their marriage. It appears they took the step of admitting the problem and getting him into rehab. During that time she claims that they ended up working on the problem and making the relationship stronger. … Continue reading →

Should Marriage Preparation Classes Be Compulsory?

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Given the sad state or marriages and the number of marriages that are ending in divorce, should marriage preparation classes be compulsory for all couples? Instead of waiting till couples are experiencing problems in their marriages and then trying to fix them, should we try and nip it in the bud before they marry? Sometimes it seems that people need to think seriously about what they’re doing and what marriage entails, rather than just being swept along by a wave of emotion. Love is not enough in marriage. Love alone, will not get you through the tough times, the economic … Continue reading →