Search Results for: blog what makes a marriage work

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Lowering Expectations in a Marriage

There is a fine line between learning to lower your expectations in a marriage and when to fight for what’s “right.”  Keep in mind that what’s considered right is all about perspective. Your right might not be my right…just as your spouse’s right might not be your right. One of the ways I try to gauge my “rights” is by how critical the issue really is; not how important it should be or I would like it to be.  But looking at it in a realistic and selfless manner. That isn’t easy, believe me.  It requires stepping back from the … Continue reading →

Marriage Is a Gem

If you could describe the whole of marriage, how would you do that?  I think I would describe it as a gem, one that is meant to be polished and taken care of. But I would also describe it as having imperfections.  Nothing in this world is really perfect, is it?  You look close enough; you can usually find a flaw.  The same is true in marriage. Yet when you take a step back, looking past the imperfections and flaws, you see nothing but a beautiful treasure.  Women oftentimes will hold their hand at a distance, as they admire the … Continue reading →

What Makes a Marriage Work?

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

Finding Your Identity in Your Marriage

I never thought much about my life growing up. At times in my adult life when I’ve considered getting married, having kids, I didn’t have anything but my own thoughts at that time to rely on. It’s strange because I’m an obsessive planner for short-term details, but I can’t think of any point in my life when I’ve had a vision for the future. As a kid I always had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up: veterinarian, zoologist, reporter for National Geographic Magazine, but those were always just fleeting childhood whimsies. I never pictured myself … Continue reading →

Passion’s Place in A Marriage

Maybe I should stop expecting television to accurately portray life or romance, but I can’t help it. Media has a subtle yet powerful influence on our thinking, especially on younger folks, that just makes me want to address the issues it raises. Fox’s trendy new sitcom “New Girl,” starring Zooey Deschanel, just wrapped up its freshman season. In the last few episodes Deschanel’s character Jess breaks up with her boyfriend after having dinner with him and his ex-wife (something that was a bad idea in the first place). At the dinner she observed the formerly-married couple at each other’s throats, … Continue reading →

How Premarital Counseling Might Help Marriages

What comes next? The other week one of the local radio station’s morning talk program held a discussion on marriage. A young engaged woman called in. She said that she signed herself and her fiance up for premarital counseling. She did so, she claimed, because her husband-to-be doesn’t know anything about what a modern marriage ought to be like. Her beloved was raised by his socially conservative grandmother. Now that they’re approaching their married life it came out that he believes she will do all of the work around the house and take care of the kids. We’ve looked at … Continue reading →

Create a Stronger Marriage Despite Financial Stress

Did you know that one of the top reasons for divorce is because of financial stress? It’s crazy that money can drive marriage to disaster. Is It the Money or the Coping? What is it really that makes couples end their relationship though? Is it the money or is something else? I am going to put my money on something else. Couples who are in a financially strained situation are under an extraordinary amount of stress. Not only are they unable to pay bills, but they may have to work longer hours to make ends meet. What happens is that … Continue reading →

Saving a Marriage

It seems like everywhere I turn lately, there are marriage problems…serious ones. Couples that you would never imagine considering divorce seem to be on that path. I recently met with a woman who had filed for divorce but then stopped it. She is willing, although very reluctantly, to give her husband a chance to work on his issues. They are serious, difficult issues. My heart feels for her. It is painful to see her pain. It would be easy for me to say, “Get out while you can.” But I tend to be of the mindset that you should first … Continue reading →

Kim Kardashian Makes a Mockery of Marriage

Not only has Kim Kardashian made a mockery of marriage but she has duped many. Just 72 days into her marriage with NBA star, Kris Humphries, she has filed for divorce. 72 days??? Many are accusing Kardashian of getting married for the sheer publicity. Of course, it didn’t hurt that she also received some freebies and deep discounts for promoting certain products. She even made a ton of money selling pictures of their wedding. According to some, she may have earned as much as $18 million from getting married. Isn’t it usually the other way around, that we spend money … Continue reading →