What I Learned From My Husband

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

15 Mar 2009 10:00 AM

Are you a person who has difficulty saying 'no' when asked to do something or go somewhere you don't want to go? Do you end making all sorts of excuses about why you can't do whatever it is you are being asked to do? Then this is the blog for you.

I used to be like that. I used to let other's expectations get in the way and at times tie me up in knots. And then I watched my husband handle a similar situation and realized he never had the problems I did.

If asked to do something he doesn't want to do or doesn't have time for he simply says 'No.' No explanations, no excuses. Just simply, 'No.'

Since I learned this little secret, it has taken the pressure off me. I no longer cast around for excuses, as to why I can't do it or don't want to do it. I simply say, 'Thanks but no.'

And the reaction is more often than not, 'Okay.' People don't even ask why. To my knowledge is hasn't damaged any friendships or relationships.

I think sometimes as women, we make the situation more complicated that it needs to be by offering explanations. We're so wary of hurting people's feelings. Men respond differently. I don't think it's just my husband either. Other guys I know respond similarly. Perhaps because on the whole men tend to be more pragmatic and not feel the need to offer excuses and explanation. And then once they've said 'no,' they don't dwell on it. It's over and done with. They move the conversation on.

We can often learn from our husbands about the way they deal with situations. So next time you're asked to do something or go somewhere you don't want, just say 'no thanks.' It can be liberating to do. As author Anne Lamott says 'I live by the truth that "No" is a complete sentence.' Why not try it?

Please visit these related blogs

Are Men really the Weaker Sex?

Do You Worry About What Other People Think?

Three Little Words

True Friends

What Affects Friendship?

What Separates Friends?

Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger