What Husbands Want When it Comes to Sex

by Sherry Holetzky | More from this Blogger

07 Oct 2006 05:03 AM

We know that all men, all women, and all relationships are different. However, there are common elements that exist in the majority of human relationships. So, while this might not pertain to every man or in every situation, it is an accurate assessment of what many husbands want from their sex lives.

One of the most important things is spontaneity. This covers a lot of ground. It can mean that your husband would like you to get impulsive and initiate intimacy sometimes, as this is a very important issue for some men. It makes him feel sexy and wanted to be the "chasee" instead of the chaser sometimes.

On the other hand, the more encompassing aspect of spontaneity tends to be responsiveness. How many times has a wife brushed aside her husband's advances, in order to wait for just the perfect moment? "Maybe later, right now I have to... (fill in the blank)."

Whether it's housework or homework, making lunches or doing laundry, there seems to be frequent reasons why a wife cannot simply fall into her husband's arms. Imagine a husband's delight (and perhaps shock) if he sneaked up and kissed the back of his wife's neck and purred sexy suggestions in her ear and she actually melted into his arms and said, "I was thinking the same thing."

Too many times, we schedule intimacy for later, for another day -and that's a maybe- because we get overwhelmed with life's demands. Well, those dishes will still be there in an hour. While it isn't always possible to drop everything, try it at least some of the time. Drop what you're doing and respond to your husband and see how he reacts. By doing so, you let him know that he is more important than anything in the world, at least for that moment.

Realize too, that spontaneous advances (which often seem to occur when you are busy) are not necessarily just about sexual gratification. As often, it's about your husband's need to feel loved, wanted, attractive, and to re-establish a connection between the two of you (although he may ask for such things in much sexier words).

Learn more about Sherry Holetzky

Sherry Holetzky is a work at home mom and freelance writer. Married to her best friend, Sherry and her husband are raising their family in a quiet rural setting in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.

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Kaptandrews (5) 13 Jan 2008 08:53 PM

So true are your words that many women think it is for just the sex. Men are physical and it means alot to a husband that his wife treat him like he is the most wanted man on earth.

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 14 Jan 2008 10:37 AM

I don't think there is anything that makes a person feel more loved, than being made to feel like the most important part of someone else's life. Thanks for sharing. :o)

Tristi Pinkston (10839) 14 Jan 2008 01:14 PM

I think wives like to be romantic spontaneously, too. It's fun and unexpected, and brings a bit of the spark back into the relationship. But there are times when you simply can't sneak off to the bedroom. If both the husband and the wife were to be more aware of what the other is doing, then they would know the best times to snuggle up and whisper in the ear. While changing a diaper doesn't work. While frying chicken doesn't work. While folding laundry works. It's all about finding a good moment that is actually feasible. If my husband were to suggest that we sneak away while I was in the middle of bandaging a cut knee, I think I'd have to say no. :)

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 15 Jan 2008 07:30 AM

True Tristi. I feel the same way. I'm a hopeless romantic. Yet, there are certainly moments that will not work. Still, I think it's all too easy to get caught up in all that needs to be done, and as nurturers we tend to show our love through doing things for people, taking care of things. Sometimes, it's good to put the smaller things on hold... :o)

I trust that most men have more sense than to make a move while their wives and fixing up boo boos. LOL