Handling Your Child’s Questions About Your Divorce

It’s bound to happen; sooner or later your kids are going to start asking questions about your divorce. It’s only natural. Even if they were very young when the event took place, they are going to have questions about why their family is different than their friend’s. As a parent, this can be scary. Their questions likely don’t have easy answers and it can be hard to decide how to approach such a sensitive topic with them. Remember to keep your answers appropriate for your child’s age and maturity. When they are younger a simple answer such as, “Mommy and … Continue reading

I Love You Anyways

On a recent trip to the library, one of the books that Dylan picked out is “Olivia”, by Ian Falconer. He has asked me to read that book to him so many times that I have lost track. You know what, though? Even if I have read it to him fifty times I could read it to him fifty more. I just love that book. Why do I love “Olivia” so? I probably have as many reasons as the book has pages. One reason that I love it is that the main character, Olivia the piglet, reminds me so much … Continue reading

Why Taking Care of Yourself Can Boost Your Sex Life

When you take care of yourself you are helping your marriage, especially when it comes to sex. Work, kids, the house, the in laws. All of these things demand attention, and there are only so many hours in the day to get done what needs to be done. Very often, married couples collapse into bed exhausted at the end of the day. There is always someone else’s needs to be met. We over stress ourselves, skip exercising and live on a diet of caffeine and leftover chicken nuggets from the kids. The problem is that when we don’t take care … Continue reading

Check in on Love

I can’t tell you the number of times that one spouse is surprised when the other spouse declares that he or she wants a divorce or is just unsatisfied in the marriage. Checking in with each other on a regular basis is one way to keep the communication open, correct any issues before they get larger, and let your spouse know how much you care. The Love Tank Every person needs to feel loved. From the time that you are a little baby, you have an instinctive need to be close to someone and to feel loved and cared for. … Continue reading

Love is In the Air

‘Love is the air,’ with TVs, stores, magazines etc all gearing up for Valentine’s Day. Everywhere you turn hearts and flowers dominate the displays. But love is more than just a romantic notion written about by songwriters, poets, novelists and movie script writers. Love can mean different things to different people, but I read a couple of good descriptions of love in a novel I’ve been reading. One was, ‘Allowances must be made for the people we love.’ That’s what Mary Ann was talking about too in her blog about unconditional love. It doesn’t depend on what they do but … Continue reading

Are You Giving Affection and Support Conditionally?

Unconditionally love—we all know that this is at the root of good parenting. We know intellectually that our children need to feel our unconditional love regardless of what is going on but in the world of the single parent, we may get so wrapped up in some of the trials and challenges of every day life, that we start to use the withholding of love and affection as a way to try to motivate and manipulate our children. Yesterday I wrote about how we need to watch out for using manipulation and controlling behaviors to try to get our kids … Continue reading

When They are the Most Unlovable–Love Harder

It really is not revolutionary parental advice to hold tight and be loving and accepting of our children even when they are at their most challenging. But it is much easier said than done. When kids are being extremely naughty, ugly, acting out, and being “unlovable”–we tend to wrack our brains trying to figure out disciplinary techniques and wonder what we should do to “fix it.” Sometimes, all we need to do is love their unlovable selves all the harder! You might be surprised, but sometimes just greeting our children’s unlovable behavior with genuine love and affection can be a … Continue reading

Unconditional Love: A Myth?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of unconditional love versus conditional love lately. Like the ideal of a perfect marriage, I’m now of the opinion that pure unconditional love doesn’t exist either. I don’t think humans are capable of that. I think some pets come close. They forgive us most trespasses and don’t shun us just because we age, gain a few pounds, lose our jobs, drink or smoke too much, or whatever other vice, hardship, or trouble we may suffer, encounter, or endure. But even pets have their limits. Just like people in relationships, they rely on … Continue reading

Get People Around Your Family Who Make You Feel Supported

I wrote recently about how I think that single parents really need other single parent friends, but I also think it is really important that as a single parent family—we have people in our lives that support our family and give us the unconditional encouragement. We get enough negative messages about what is so “wrong” with single parent families from the rest of the world—most of it blindsides us and is completely unsolicited. We need some people who think we are great, think our kids are fabulous, and are not “down” on single parent families. We cannot hold up the … Continue reading

Three Misconceptions that Can Affect Your Marriage

There are many misconceptions that people embrace, especially when it comes to marriage, especially new marriages. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking things should automatically be a certain way when two people are in love. It doesn’t always work like that. Here are three misconceptions that can have an impact on your marriage: Love Conquers All Love can do a lot of things, and it even has some healing properties, but love does not conquer all. Things can happen that will come between even the most loving couples. The fact that two people love each other isn’t always … Continue reading