Marriage is Like a Good Cup of Coffee

In a conversation with my married daughter recently, she came out with this gem about marriage. Marriage is like a good cup of coffee. Keep reading and you’ll see how. A prevalent idea around at present is that if it’s the right person, it will all come naturally and easily and without any effort being expended. I actually came across almost these exact words in a novel written by a young woman I read yesterday. There is the view that you won’t have to work hard to maintain the relationship. Again, that is reflected in many movies. We don’t see … Continue reading

Marriage Doesn’t Prepare People

‘Marriage doesn’t prepare people for retirement,’Mick said today as we were talking about people we know and they way they hardly interact with each other. Think about it. His comment makes a lot of sense. The reality is for most of married life it is a case of the husband, or more commonly these days both parties, going off to work. They work in separate places and spend a lot of hours apart then come together in the evening with family. Then there are chores to be done and kids to feed and meals to prepare. It is not exactly … Continue reading

Don’t Ignore Problems in Marriage

In any marriage there are difficult times and often they can be worked through as we talk them out. But much as we might like to think we can handle any problems in our marriage and work them out on our own, sometimes we may need to admit that we need help. This blog was prompted by a comment posted in response to another blog. In Packed to the Rafters, an Aussie TV show very popular here at present the husband Dave, had this to say ‘men have a way of dealing with problems. They ignore them.’ There’s a certain … Continue reading

What to Do If Your Marriage Is in Trouble- Part 2

Yesterday we looked at ways to try and rectify some of the warning signs that a marriage is in trouble. Here are suggestions for combating the remaining warning signs. 7. Find an activity you both enjoy and take up that hobby or sport together, it could be painting, tennis, gardening, bushwalking. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you can share it together. 8. Before you are tempted to criticize, stop and think how you’d feel is if the criticism was directed at you. Change it and say something positive about your spouse instead. If they are the … Continue reading

What to Do If Your Marriage Is in Trouble

So, you went through yesterday’s check list and found some of those warning signs in your marriage, what can you do? Before you decide the marriage isn’t worth saving, try some of these remedies. You might be surprised. Often when people commit to making a marriage work, they find it actually ends up better than it ever was. It’s surely worth a try. 1. If you no longer find your spouse attractive, why is that? Make an effort with your appearance for your spouse and it might encourage your spouse to make an effort for you. Buy your spouse something … Continue reading

Warning Signs a Marriage Is in Trouble

On the radio yesterday I heard this comment, ‘our senses warn us of danger, we hear it, we see it, we react.’ What about in your marriage? Are your senses warning you of the danger in your marriage? Or are you ignoring the warning signs? Here are some of the warning signs that all is not right with your marriage. Many of these have been brought up in the forums. 1. You no longer find your spouse attractive and want to make love with your spouse or even kiss and cuddle up. 2. You find habits your spouse has that … Continue reading

Learn to Recognize the Warning SIgns

Is it not nice to have the warning systems that we have in our world today? We have warnings for storms and tornados. We have warnings for fires. We have warnings for burglars. We even have warning lights to let us know when there is trouble with our car. With all of these different types of warnings out there, you would think that it would be very easy for us to pick up on the warning signs of our relationship. However in some cases we are not as sensitive to those signs as we are to many other warnings. While … Continue reading

Interviewing Your Marriage Counselor – Things to Think About

So you and your spouse have decided to work with a counselor to try and sort out some problems. Your problems may include: · Financial issues (e.g. compulsive spending) · Emotional issues (e.g. trust) · Physical Dysfunction (e.g. sexual intimacy) · Communication issues (e.g. frequent arguments) The type of problems may have similarities in their expression in your marriage, but your reasons for seeking out a marriage counselor are your own. At least until you’ve sat down and talked to the marriage counselor. When it comes to choosing a marriage counselor, you need to be able to talk to this … Continue reading

Why Are More Women Walking Out?

More and more women are walking out of marriages than ever before. According to statistics 68 percent of divorces are instigated by women. This has not always been the case. What has caused the change? These days women are better educated and many women have either not given up work for any length of time or have gone back into the work force once the children have grown a little, and are at school. As a result, more women appear more confident and are more used to looking after themselves financially. In many marriages it is a case of his … Continue reading

Take the Challenge

In Australia, this week has been designated as families’ week. Linda Burney, Minister for Community Services, has challenged families to turn off the TV and the computer and to set the table and sit down to a meal together. I’ve always been an advocate for eating meals together and not doing them in shifts as some people seem to do. No, it’s not always easy with work commitments, meetings, and after school activities. But it is worthwhile. Just as you and your spouse need that together time, the date nights and time to relax and talk together away from family, … Continue reading