'Walking' Marriagesby Heather Long | More from this Blogger 22 Jan 2007 06:13 AM So I was channel surfing this weekend and I came across a show on PBS that was talking about the Mosuo people of China. I'd never heard of them before, but what caught my interest was the statement about the matriarchal style of society that the Mosuo have. Apparently, the Mosuo people live in an area of the Himalayas around Lugu Lake in the Southern part of China. What makes this society so unique is that they are one of the world's few remaining matriarchies. Among the Mosuo people, the women are in charge of all aspects of their society. They lead their families, they raise the children, they control the finances and they rule when it comes to choosing their bedmates. Walking Marriage Among the Mosuo, the women practice what are called walking marriages. What does that mean? According to the documentary, the Mosuo women will give a signal to the man of their choosing and it lets him know that he is going to be walking with her to her room that night. The next morning, he will return to his mother's home. The marriages made by these women are not marriages as we would consider them because they do not have to stay with the same man for the rest of their lives. They can invite the same one as many times as they want or never invite him again. The men always live in the homes of their mothers and they help to take care of their sisters and the children their sisters have. When a woman has a child, that child remains with her in her home and her brothers will help her to raise him. Interestingly enough, the father of the child has very little to do with his child, but the child is not deprived of a male influence because his uncles all live in the same home with their mother and their grandmothers. What's Even More Interesting You may be wondering what can be more interesting than what I've already described about this particular society? The answer to that is their language. You see, in their language, there are no words for rape, war or murder and they don't have any jails. This doesn't mean that they don't know these things, they do know what rape is -- but the sentence for rape is execution and they do have a word for kill, still -- it's a nice concept. No matter how peculiar you may think their society is - I have to admire that. I want to learn more about the Mosuo and their walking marriages. I'll let you know what I find out. Have you ever heard of the Mosuo people? Related Articles: Marriage in the News: Traditional Social Structures Learn more about Heather Long  Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments wootyhead (30) 19 Apr 2007 10:40 PMI'm always happy to learn about alternatives to our tradition of marriage as a lifelong union, for comparison's sake... Their concept of the relationships between man and woman seems so much more realistic than ours, in many ways; but of course, that may simply be because I'm still relatively uninformed and thus imposing our own cultural norms on the Mosuo, that may not even be factors in terms of what actually matters to them. Ignorance aside, however, my own belief is that it's not even within the capacity of human nature to be solely bound to the same individual for the entirety of one's life in the way we like to imagine in America. Our expecations seem to have been too deeply influenced by fantastic tales of true love and romance in books, films, and other works of fiction. (All the grown-ups around me tell me that this belief is fine for now because I'm young and a few more years of life will convince me otherwise. We'll see.) The blurb also raises a number of questions, though. For instance, how did this form of marriage arise among these particular people? What about their culture and their lifestyle made this the most conducive marital form in the midst of the prevalent others, nothing at all like it? What forms had preceded it and why did this one emerge and evolve? I'm also curious about how commonly women do find themselevs attached enough to commit to the same man forever... Often? Typically? Never? Do they wish they could live with the men of their choosings whether than with their own blood relatives? How do they men feel? Do they occasionally lash out in attempt to pursue a woman for themselves rather than be stuck with only the women who come to him? Do the Mosuo only mate this way for reproductive purposes, or also for pleasure? How prominent is homosexuality? I also wonder whether the Mosuo feel there's anything "missing" from their relationships, in the absence of our own standards of courtship... The answers to that particular question could speak to how much of a necessity our standards actually are in terms of human nature versus to what extent our own culture just wedged them in for some other reason. I'm willing to believe we force ourselves into grand attempts at monogamy for a good reason--I just need to see that reason at its root for myself, to even begin to fully understand it. Thanks for introducing such an interesting alternative--I definitely want to learn more about the Mosuo and their "walking marriages." I find it interesting, too, that they still refer to them as marriages, considering that my understanding of "marriage" by definition is that it necessarily indicates some form of lasting committment... So I also wonder what about these unions warrant that designation as "marriage"... Community Tags china, culture, Documentary, mosuo, walking marriages Discuss this article
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