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Part 2 of Top Tips for Communicating Effectively

Today I am continuing the tips for communicating effectively which I started yesterday. 7. Pick the right time One I mentioned the other day was about picking the right time. Not when your spouse is doing something else. We did have that conversation when Mick raised it the next day so he had heard it, and he was his usual encouraging and supportive self. Although sometimes driving on the car can work if you’re not in traffic and needing to concentrate a lot. It often works well with children and teenagers too, so long as they’re not the ones driving. … Continue reading →

Top Tips for Communicating Effectively

Sometimes we have trouble communicating even with those we love. So here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively with your spouse. 1. Listen to them. Really listen. Don’t be in such a hurry to have your own say that you don’t listen carefully. I’m constantly amazed at the number of people who interrupt because they are so desperate to have their say. Show your spouse he same courtesy you would like yourself and should show to others by listening. 2. Be careful of what you say and the manner in which you say it. Don’t put your … Continue reading →

Do Marriage Preparation Classes Work?

As many of you know I’m a big advocate for marriage preparation classes. But do they work, that is the question? The other day I received an e-mail giving me a link to an article about a study regarding marriage preparation classes. Thanks to Amanda Verzello for sending this to me. The article looks at whether marriage preparation classes work. The article didn’t appear to come to a definitive conclusion. It was very much yes and no. Yes, in the sense that in the majority of cases, it did improve communication between couples. To my mind anything that improves communication … Continue reading →

Drop From the Marriage Vocabulary

There are some things you never want to say to your spouse, because they are the type of things that can have serious effects. Three little words that should be dropped from the marriage vocabulary are, ‘never,’ ‘always,’ and ‘only.’ Imagine how your spouse feels if you tell them, ‘you never say the right things,’ or ‘you never do what I want.’ Now I’m sure if you thought about it long enough you’d realize what you mean is right at this moment you are not saying or doing what I want you to. If you tell them they never say … Continue reading →

Why Make Decisions Together?

Over the last couple of blogs we’ve looked at predetermining choices for spouses and family. I’m adamant making decisions together is a far better way to go in marriage. Why? Let me give you some reasons. It’s better for your marriage. Each person feels more involved in the choices made. It strengthens your marriage and you learn to take responsibility and learn from your mistakes together. Another reason is the responsibility doesn’t rest on one person. This can be come very stressful for the person responsible for always making the decisions. Of course it also means that if the decision … Continue reading →

Three Ms You Don’t Want in Marriage

Yesterday we looked at some Ms to incorporate into marriage. Today I’ve got three Ms you definitely don’t want in your marriage Manipulative We’ve all seen then the wives who manipulate their husbands with tears and emotional blackmail and acts designed to get what they want. We see it in those who manipulate their spouse into doing what they want when they want it, using sex or whatever other means at their disposal to get their own way. Manipulative people often use tactics to make the other person feel guilty, if they don’t comply. They use silent treatment or lies … Continue reading →

How to Deal with Stress

Stress is something that comes to all of us at varying times and in varying ways in our marriage. It can have detrimental effects, producing headaches, depression, overeating, high blood pressure, stomach upsets and constant minor illnesses because the immune system is low. From all the symptoms a young man experienced, he thought he was having a heart attack. The hospital found he was having a panic attack caused by too much stress. So for our health and for the sake of our marriages let’s find ways to deal with the stress. I’ve been reading Always Looking Up by Michael … Continue reading →

Checklist of Things to Discuss before Marriage

Part of the joy of meeting new people and being in a relationship is getting to know them, their likes and dislikes. This means more than just things like their favorite color and movie, etc. It means getting to know their attitudes towards life and how they will react in a given situation. With a marriage partner it is even more important. Yet, I am constantly amazed at how little some couples communicate and talk to each other about major issues before they get married. Do they think they will just all resolve themselves because they love each other? It … Continue reading →

What About That Tone?

People can tell a lot from the tone of our voice. It’s not so much the words said as they way they are said that can make a lot of difference, especially when talking to our spouse. Recently Mick and I attended a gathering with a number of other couples and I listened to one woman talking to her man. It sounded like she was a drill sergeant barking orders to a group of soldiers. She was so intent on what she wanted done that I don’t think she was aware of how abrupt it sounded. Neither was she aware … Continue reading →

Attitudes and Expectations

So Christmas is over and the presents all unwrapped, family often gone back to the respective homes or maybe more arriving. How do you feel after the hype of the last few days? Do you feel still on a high after the excitement of Christmas? Do you feel thankful things are back more normal and back to your usual routine? Do you feel depressed because family has left or you’ve had to leave them behind or simply because there’s nothing to look forward to any more? Do you regret that it’s all over for another year? Or are you relived? … Continue reading →