Three Misconceptions that Can Affect Your Marriage

by Sherry Holetzky | More from this Blogger

23 Feb 2007 09:10 AM

There are many misconceptions that people embrace, especially when it comes to marriage, especially new marriages. It's easy to get caught up in thinking things should automatically be a certain way when two people are in love. It doesn't always work like that.

Here are three misconceptions that can have an impact on your marriage:

Love Conquers All

Love can do a lot of things, and it even has some healing properties, but love does not conquer all. Things can happen that will come between even the most loving couples. The fact that two people love each other isn't always enough, although sharing an unconditional love can help see us through some of the worst things life can throw at us. Unconditional love is a love that takes effort. It's not the romantic, "in love" emotional type of feeling.

Love Means Never Having to Say Sorry

Whoever coined this phrase may have done couples a disservice. While it sounds nice, most experts would agree that you do need to apologize and seek forgiveness when you hurt another person. If you do not, the other person may feel that you don't care enough about him or her to make things right.

If He Really Loved Me, He'd Know...

This can be applied to both men and women and both need to remember that your spouse cannot read your mind. Not knowing what you're thinking or feeling at any given moment is not an indication of a lack of love. In fact, it is the selfish person that expects the other person to always know what to do and say without input. Also, using the statement, "If you really loved me, you would do...." is simply manipulation.

A big hurdle in many marriage is unrealistic expectations. Make sure you don't go into marriage with a fairy tale idea of what it should be like. It's also important to have good communication skills. Don't assign motives or expect mind reading. Be open about what you think and feel.

Learn more about Sherry Holetzky

Sherry Holetzky is a work at home mom and freelance writer. Married to her best friend, Sherry and her husband are raising their family in a quiet rural setting in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.

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sammydg04 (35) 29 Aug 2008 01:55 AM

I think I may disagree with your first point. You may say that I am young and inexperienced, and that is find if that is your opinion.

I still maintain that I respectfully disagree with your first point. (The other two are spot-on!). I do believe that love conquers all. Maybe not the emotional first six months "in love" that you get when you are 16; however there is no reason that deep, true, commited, mature love should not be able to get through anything.

While I may have sentenced myself to a lifetime of working at my marriage by promising that the man I chose to marry would be my husband until the end, I can't help but believe it's true. I would have agreed with you had you said "Love can conquer all if two people work hard enough".

Immature love can not conquer all, but I believe the Bible verse that my cousin read at my wedding: "Love never fails". that is, of course, speaking of mature love, committed love, and love between two people who are willing to work at it.

Valorie Delp (49340) 29 Aug 2008 04:09 AM

Actually the Bible verse that says "love never fails" isn't talking about love between two people at all. It's talking about Christ as love--who never fails. Therefore love that is Christ like doesn't fail.

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 02 Sep 2008 10:54 AM

Very true, Sammy. Maybe I didn't express it well enough, but I essentially meant this in much the same way. I made a point of unconditional love to show the difference. Thank you for commenting.

Good point, Val.