Search Results for: blog thoughts on long distancing it how commuter marriages are born

Thanksgiving Love Stories: Home for the Holidays

Last year at this time Wayne and I were in Denver to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. I remember being so excited about getting to spend a whole week with Wayne. Thanksgiving, Then and Now It was a big deal because we’d spent months apart enduring a commuter marriage. But then Wayne decided not to stay with the job in Jacksonville and to get his old job back here in Nashville. I was over the moon! (Mostly because I was tired of trying to keep the house show-ready and over only seeing him on weekends.) Last year, Thanksgiving week marked … Continue reading →

The Family That Plays, Potties, Drinks, Sleeps, and Heals Together Stays Together

Something life with Murphy has made me realize lately is that Wayne, me, and our fur kids are one tight knit clan. Which is sort of a remarkable thing in one respect. On the one hand, we’re a family made up of humans and animals. We’re not related by blood, but our bond is as strong as any blood bond could be. On the other hand, it’s hard to believe that just a little over a year ago we were a house divided. (Literally. Wayne was in Florida working a new job while I stayed behind trying to sell the … Continue reading →

An Olympian Loses Her Wedding Ring During Competition

The other night when I was watching the Olympics, they covered a side story about how Kerri Walsh lost her wedding ring during a match. Nay, not any match. It was during her first round match against Japan. GULP! Being a sand volleyball player myself (though nowhere near even close to the same caliber as Kerri Walsh and her super star partner, Misty May), I know all about how the sand likes to swallow things up. Even though it was my diamond, not my entire ring, I also know how it feels to lose a ring given to you by … Continue reading →

Greatest American Dog: Dancing with the Dogs Episode

I finally had a chance to watch last week’s “Greatest American Dog.” As have the other episodes, it’s sparked some reflection on my behalf. (The gist of which is reflected in the subheads below.) The Good Again, I have yet to watch this show without crying. (Which isn’t entirely unexpected due to my problem.) However, this week it was the people, not the animals, who had me bawling. It started when Bill was talking about being so homesick and Star’s body language mirrored his sadness. It was heart wrenching to hear him say how much he missed his wife and … Continue reading →

Facing a Marriage Crisis

In a previous article I wrote about how alone I’ve felt lately. It’s to the point where I’m asking, “What’s the point of this relationship? Mostly he’s good to me, yes –when he’s available. And once in a while he does incredibly thoughtful things like how he did when he welcomed my mom. But the job is all-consuming anymore and he rarely has time for me. Not even when it’s serious stuff like it has been with my mom. And I don’t know if it really has to be that way, or if he’s using work as an excuse to … Continue reading →

Danger in Not Turning in at the Same Time?

Yesterday in Pets I wrote about the case of the Wooded Rapist and the dog that helped crack the case. After I posted it, I made sure all the doors were locked, turned off all the lights, and then headed up to bed. Wayne was already in bed, so was my mom. Not unusual. Not out of the norm. It’s how the routine goes most nights. If I’m not staying up to bang out a few more articles at the keyboard, I have homecaring duties to tend to. Every so often it’s not work, but a chance to catch up … Continue reading →

Love Is…

When Wayne and I first started dating back in the mid-80s, one of Denver’s papers (can’t remember now if it was the Rocky Mountain News or the Denver Post) ran the syndicated comic strip “Love Is…” drawn by Kim Casali. My sister was the one who had first introduced me to it, but Wayne was the one who gave it meaning. You see, even way, way, way back then we had a commuter relationship. I lived with my mom in Denver where I went to high school; he lived down in Gunnison where he went to college. Most relationships don’t … Continue reading →

Interviewing Sandra Worth on Marriage, Commuting, and Writing

Have you ever had a remarkably gifted friend or acquaintance? One you just knew would “make it big” someday? I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine like that, Sandra Worth. She’d tell you she’s far from such a person, but that’s only because she’s modest. I’m here to tell you otherwise. I first met Sandra when I was an editor for NovelBooks, Inc. I edited mysteries and romances mainly, but I ended up agreeing to edit her book (which was a historical) to help catch up on backlog. She made my job very difficult. Not because she … Continue reading →

Rule Number 3: Change is a Catch-22

Change is one thing every relationship is going to encounter. Perhaps my fellow blogger Heather Long summed it up best when she answered a reader’s question with the sage words: change is inevitable. What is Change? The word “change” has a lot of meanings. I never realized that until I started writing this and looked it up in my Webster’s. It can mean change as in currency. Or an action, like changing your clothes or types of transportation (like changing from a subway train to a bus). But change as it applies to a relationship can have utterly different meanings. … Continue reading →

Reunited and It Feels So…Good? – Learning to Be a Couple Again

After enduring months of separation due to job circumstances, late last November my commuter marriage came to an end. Wayne got back his old job, quit the new one, and came home. It’s been an adjustment ever since. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled he’s home. I’m thrilled I don’t have the hassle of dealing with showings and fretting about doing certain things by myself anymore. (Like hurrying to tidy up any messes when a showing appointment was made.) Basically, I’m just thrilled he’s around to help with certain chores (like walking Murph in the mornings) and we’re back together … Continue reading →