The Things We Remember

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

17 Jan 2007 06:15 AM

For a few days now, I've known an old friend of mine was ill. I tried to reach her on the phone, but she was in the hospital and sleeping a great deal and I was always worried about waking her up. I've been getting updates on her third hand through a mutual friend and from her sixteen year old son, a boy I've known since he was 1.

Last night, my friend passed away.

I've spent the last few days remembering her, remembering how we met, the time we spent together and the things we used to do together. As I type this, I remember the first time I met her, we'd both belonged to a writer's group and we met through our mutual interest in the group. At first, it was just letters, then we talked on the phone.

When I was 19, I moved to New Jersey, not far from where she was living. I was trying to get closer to the central hub of publishing for different forms of writing. Over the years, we forged a strong friendship and she welcomed me into her family. I knew her children very well, the baby and the older boy. Her husband was a quirky, fun guy and her brother was fun in his way.

A few years ago, her brother was killed in an attempted robbery at the place he was working. A time after that, her husband died of a heart attack brought on by an epileptic seizure and last night - she passed away leaving two children - one who is 16 and another who is just 21. Round and round my thoughts go and I think about those days and I think about the intervening time and the fact that our lives drifted apart.

The last time I saw her was at my wedding and we've only talked in sporadic notes here and there and yet - with her passing, I feel like a part of my past has passed away. We won't ever sit up late over coffee; swapping ideas about how a particular storyline we were working on will go. We won't be able to speculate about the latest shows or movies that we both enjoyed. We won't debate religion or politics. I won't sit at her table for Purim and I won't get to enjoy Hanukah in her home again.

Her funeral is on Friday and I will not be able to attend it. Late last night, my husband sat and listened to me as I shared my memories of her. I can sit shiva for her here in my own way - probably not the proper Jewish way, but that was her faith and not mine. So what I can do is remember her here. Her name was Leah Adezio and she was a little bit crazy and a whole lot of fun.

She inspired me and she challenged me and she made me nuts with some of her ideas. She supported me. She loved me and at a time in my life when I needed it, she opened her home and her family to me. I am going to miss her a great deal. I know we were not in each others pockets as we once had been, but I always knew that her light was out there in the world and now that candle has gone out.

Please say a word or a prayer or a thought for her two sons, Stephen and Daniel today as they mourn the loss of their mother and my friend. I will miss you Leah and thank you for all the wonderful ways in which you touched my life --- you will never be forgotten.

Blessed be.

Related Articles:

The Last Ten Years

Home and Family: Grief

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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Sherry Holetzky (11404) 17 Jan 2007 07:35 AM

I'm sorry for you loss, Heather. (((hugs)))

Linda Hansen (1796) 17 Jan 2007 01:42 PM

Sherry, I know the pain, the fun memories, the emptiness when she is gone. My friend Rachel passed away and left the biggest hole in my heart. I still miss our visits, our together time and her interesting stories. I am grateful to have had a friend like her for over 20 yrs. Enjoy your memories, I will pray for her children. Artcraft

jwj170104 (5) 17 Jan 2007 10:01 PM

Heather - I heard the sad news tonight. Charles sent out an email letting a few of us know and then I went over to Peter David's site and read his wonderful post about Leah. I did call Leah's cell phone on Tuesday, got Leah's voice mail and left a message. So I waited too long but I like you was worried that I would be a bother if I called the hospital.

Your memories of Leah were wonderful to read. I know that she was a kind and loving friend to not only you but to many, many people. We are all going to miss her. Love to you and your family.

Heather Long (16954) 18 Jan 2007 05:22 AM

Thank you for your thoughts and JW, thank you for sharing your experiences too. I miss her.

GWhitmore (5) 22 Jan 2007 11:09 AM

Hi Heather,

You may not remember me, but we were both members of that writing group in Jersey. I just found out this morning about Leah and am overwhelmed with sadness. She and I talked only a few months ago and I was just getting to calling her this week when I found she was gone. My memories of this wonderful woman will always be with me. I'm glad to have met you again, and I'm so sorry for both of our losses.

Gregg Whitmore

Heather Long (16954) 22 Jan 2007 12:03 PM

Gregg! Of course I remember you! It's great to hear from you. Thank you so much for dropping a note here! It's wonderful to hear from you even over this very sad reason. Leah was very good at bringing people together and she's still doing it!