The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 2by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger 11 Mar 2008 06:21 PM In Part 1 I presented some of the reasons the panelists interviewed on Today posed as reasons for why men cheat. Here are the rest. The "Me First" Mentality Jeff Gardere, the psychologist (and the only man on the panel), brought this one up, Dr. Laura seconded it, and Helen Fisher nodded in agreement: men are weak and selfish. I definitely believe this one. Sure, there are some women who can be considered high maintenance, but all men are -no matter how simple they may seem. Admit it, ladies. You may have the greatest guy in the world, but he needs way more attention than you do. His ego's a lot more sensitive. He comes first. All men suffer from this. They don't like being anything except first, because not only their moms but society teaches them they should always come first. Women like to come first too, but we're much more inclined to put our needs behind everyone else's --kids, family, employers, husbands-- before tending to our own. Men don't tend to others until after they're tended to. And if they're not getting that at home, they look elsewhere. (Or, if they don't actively go looking, are more susceptible to it if it's brought to them.) This led to the most controversial panel assessment. If a Man Cheats His Woman's to Blame Dr. Laura made this claim. Even though it was shocking and what any woman who's ever been betrayed fears ("It was my fault. I somehow made him do it."), it's one I begrudgingly admit there's probably some truth to. Why? Because men are so self-centered. It all goes back to that. If you don't have his back (as in watching out for it and protecting it), rub his back, tuck his back in when he lays down to go to bed at night, you're not meeting his needs. Therefore you're not putting him first. If you deny more and more needs, he'll satisfy them elsewhere. Be they sexual, emotional, or psychological. That's not always why men cheat, but it definitely accounts for a great deal of it. And as Dr. Laura pointed out, if things were completely satisfactory at home he never would have felt a need to be lured elsewhere. Even though it pains me to admit that (because I know several Families.com members have suffered such events in their own marriages), it really does make sense. Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here. Related Articles Thoughts on Marriage and Monogamy What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs Can a Marriage Survive an Affair? Protecting Your Marriage from Infidelity Learn more about Courtney Mroch  Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments Madre4 (10) 12 Mar 2008 02:55 PMQuote: His ego's a lot more sensitive. He comes first. All men suffer from this. They don't like being anything except first, because not only their moms but society teaches them they should always come first. In my research I have found men whom suffer from this need to have their egos stroked continuously have insecurities and low self-esteem created by society, as well as their upbringing. I agree, your spouse should be first priority but as a mature adult must understand sometimes children, illness, or responsibilities need to be addressed within reason. I have seen many times a woman who plays the roll of a doting wife with a husband whom feels inadequacy with himself. He turns to another woman to make himself feel important, but an affair does not fix the problem. The problem lies within oneself. Mid Life Crisis is definitely one of those times. Then you have the ones that are repetitive; â€Å"Leopard does not change their spots.†I will end it at that. scapadasamorosas (5) 07 Oct 2008 01:59 PMMen...there is just no way of fixing this problem especially nowadays...an affair is just a click away with so many websites that cater to married men and women who want to continued to "date"..nice word for an extramarital affair...there is one website that is particular, which is bilingual, www.scapadasamorosas.com..they cater to this type of activity for both men and women. In other words, this type of website makes it easier to find other people looking to have a discreet and casual encounters..Unfortunately, in today's society everything is disposible and easier...No wonder 50% of marriages end up in divorce... Community Tags affairs, cheating, husbands, infidelity, psychology Discuss this article
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