Search Results for: blog the love and marriage experience

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 1

The practice of wearing wedding rings has roots in ancient Egypt. The Egyptians might have believed that circles represent eternity, fitting for a marriage vow. Wearing the rings on our left hand dates to the Roman era: Romans apparently believed that the fourth finger on our left hands had a vein that went directly to the heart. While women have worn wedding (and engagement) rings for centuries, the practice of men donning the former only dates to the 20th century. Some sources speculate that it had to do with World War II: men started wearing the rings while deployed, as … Continue reading →

Ditching the Husband to Hang with the In-Laws

The in-laws can be a dreaded part of the marriage experience, for some more so than others, and especially for the wife facing her husband’s family. I’ve had a little tension with Jonathan’s relatives, but overall my experience with them has been overwhelmingly positive. In fact, I don’t always need Jonathan around as a “buffer” or even just as an excuse, to spend time with his relatives. Jon’s part of a big family so there are a number of people with whom for me to interact. I first really hit it off with his older sister. We’re very similar in … Continue reading →

Can You Ever Love the Same After Infidelity

I was asked by someone if it’s ever possible to love the person who cheated on you the same as you did before the affair. My answer in short was, “No.” With every experience in life, consequences occur. Your life evolves as you come to a new experience. Your life isn’t the same after each episode of your life places because you must adjust to accommodate the changes in your life. When a spouse cheats, it changes the marriage. It changes the way the marriage was before the affair. You can’t go back in time and change what has happened. … Continue reading →

Speed Dating, Animal Lovers Style

I know people who aren’t comfortable with adopting pets from shelters. They have good reasons, such as being uncertain about the animal’s background. Some of them even had specific negative experiences, encountering severe behavioral problems that sometimes come with shelter pets. After all, animals sometimes end up in shelters after leaving neglectful or abusive homes, and that leaves a mental mark. I try to reassure my friends in these situations, tell them that honestly as long as they don’t buy from pet stores or puppy mills, that reputable breeders are always a positive source for pets. But I try to … Continue reading →

We Cannot Live on Love Alone

During my first year of marriage I wasn’t as happy as I should have been. Despite the supposed “honeymoon period,” I often felt listless and depressed. It took me a while to figure out why. Jonathan has an excellent job with the government. Unfortunately it’s located in a rural area, so most of the jobs are related to the military base that his position serves. Few jobs exist outside of the technology industry. Basically, my plan to start freelance work once we had children, so I could stay at home with them, had to be bumped up a few years … Continue reading →

The Courage to Love Movie Review

The story of Henriette Delille is anything but ordinary. Based on a true story, The Courage to Love explores a little known time in Lousianna’s history. When the “Americans” were a threat to the way of life, and free women of color were openly kept by rich white benefactors. The children of such matches, known as Quadroons (if they had a quarter of non-white “blood” or Octaroons (for an eighth) where prepared by their mothers to attend balls, where their suitors would pledge their keeping for a year or a lifetime. The law forbad the marriage between persons of mixed … Continue reading →

5 Emotions Infidelity Brings On and What to Do About Them

When a spouse cheats, your emotions run wild. Not only do you go through every emotion imaginable but you can experience them all at the same time. It’s enough to drive you insane. Understanding the emotions that come with infidelity can help you with the recovery process. Your emotions are normal, must be felt and processed and knowing how to do this is imperative to your healing. Infidelity Emotion #1: Rage Rage is more than anger; it’s an emotion that can send you into a flight of forbidden words you never thought you would say. It may make you do … Continue reading →

The Later Years: How Much Do They Really Understand?

As children get older they begin to understand the divorce more clearly. They may have many questions about the changes they are going to be experiencing and may have some complex emotions about what is happening in their lives. Here is a guide to the later years and how to ease the transition on them as you are going through your divorce. Children during the 5-8 age range likely will not understand the dynamics of the divorce. They too may experience feelings of guilt and wonder if they were the cause of your divorce. They may fantasize about you and … Continue reading →

Marital Bliss Doesn’t Make a Marriage Work

Marital bliss…it is a common feeling experienced by newlyweds and one that seems to deteriorate with time. We tend to view this as a bad thing but I would like to challenge that. Marital bliss is romantic and all but there comes a point in your marriage when you have to learn how to live. The reality of life is that not everyday will be magical. There are bills to be paid, long days to get through, children to raise, pressures to deal with and the list goes on. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy marriage while dealing with all … Continue reading →