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How Do You Define PDA?

Recently my volunteering friends and I discussed PDA (public displays of affection).  My two friends talked about their husbands’ discomfort with PDA.  Well, I could relate to that: it tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable.  But then I learned that what they meant by PDA was hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss. My one friend said it took her husband years before he would hold her hand in public.  The other said that when she and her husband meet up somewhere, when her husband arrives all the other women in the room get a hug, or sometimes even a … Continue reading →

Living with Engineers: Tales of Efficiency

There are a lot of engineers out there in the world, and so there are a number of us married to them. Based on conversations I’ve had with other spouses of engineers, I’ve learned it’s not just me: it can be a unique, strange, and funny experience living with an engineer. The first thing you need to learn if you’re the husband or wife of an engineer is that your spouse will always think that their way of doing something, is the best way of doing it. The magic word is “efficient.” Learn it well, because you’ll be hearing it … Continue reading →

Balancing Your Time

Childless couples face some different problems than couples with kids, but some of our issues are the same. One problem that I think any married couple has is spending time with one another. The specifics of the problem, however, vary whether or not children are in the equation. It’s well-known that finding time, period, when you have kids is a common conundrum. Finding time to do household chores, take a shower, spend time with your spouse, and still have some alone time can all be troublesome depending how many and what age children you have. Obviously Jon and I don’t … Continue reading →

You Can’t Always Fix Everything

It’s a frequent miscommunication, one written about many times: one spouse just wants to vent their frustrations, and the other hears it as “please fix my problem.” It’s most common that the women are former and the men latter, but I’ve heard of the situation reversed; it all depends on personality. Jon and I can sometimes fall into this trap as well. It starts off very sweet: Jon would like to be able to solve my problems for me. That’s something we’d all like to do for the people that we love. But because that’s impossible, it’s important that we … Continue reading →

Holidays, Travel, and Family Expectations

Holidays can be tricky for anyone, in any family situation. Married couples without kids, however, face a special conundrum: with whom to spend the day(s)? Again, this can be tough for anyone, but childless marrieds face a particular pressure: you don’t have kids, so it falls to you to drive sometimes long distances to attend the family get-together. Of course that returns us to the initial question: with whose family do we spend the holidays? We pick one side of the family for Thanksgiving and the other for Easter, because Jon’s parents and my parents live far enough away from … Continue reading →

Worrying Too Much

I know I’m constantly railing against letting the often-inaccurate media have too much influence over our marriages and our approaches to romance. One of the reasons why I harp on about it so much is because I’m talking to myself as much, if not more, than I am to others. I’m a worrywart; it’s one of my least favorite facets of my personality but one I know I have to acknowledge and for which I have to watch out. There’s little that I can’t manage to fret over, and whether or not I’m going about my relationship with my husband … Continue reading →

One-Sided Romance

Valentine’s Day has come and passed, but this year it really made me start thinking about romance. I’m sure that’s in part because I now officially write about love and marriage. But as the ads on television and the radio were dedicated to talking about getting gifts for the holiday, as friends posted pictures and comments on their Facebook pages about what their husbands got them or the frantic lines of men in department stores and flower shops on the day, I really began to wonder: why is romance so one-sided? Think about it: usually when we think about something … Continue reading →