The History and Superstition of Marriageby Gillian Markson | More from this Blogger 17 Jun 2006 09:45 AM In order to study the history of marriage we must first travel to ancient Rome. As Rome gained control over the surrounding areas, women achieved a higher role in the community, and had many of the same rights as men. It wasn't until much later that marriages began to be arraigned so as to add to the family's holdings. Should she accept a man's proposal of marriage, however, she forfeited all of her assets to her husband; he now controlled all her goods and land. It was at this time-far before Christianity-that the people who lived outside the city's stronghold-the pagans- formed partnerships called ''hand fasts." The bride and groom stood before their friends, family, and the gods, much like today, and promised to take care of each other forever. They were then bound together at the wrists ceremoniously for a few minutes, and were pronounced life partners. This marriage lasted a year and a day, after which time the couple could 're-up' together forever, or leave the relationship, taking everything that each one had brought into it. Jumping ahead to Victorian times and the rise of Christianity, the church changed some of the pagan rites to be included in the ceremony, marrying-if you will- the two religions. Today little remains of the pagan rituals as they originally were, but some of the traditions still exist today. The tradition of the wedding cake, for instance, started back in pagan times with the wedding announcement to Bring Your Own Biscuits. The biscuits were then piled high and the higher the stack, the more wealthy and happy the couple would be. After the couple kissed over the top of the hill of cakes, the pieces were handed out among the poor. Bring Your Own Biscuits became Bring Your Own Booze, and the pile of biscuits became the wedding cake-tiers and all. The history of the dowry started out as a way for a farmer to gain riches by wedding out his son. The father of a daughter would put aside animals and grains, or other materials to give to the father of the man who wished to marry the girl. This started the day she was born so as to have a large dowry to give to the groom's family when the day came. The history of weddings also includes the gown. From the earliest times tradition and superstition surrounded the dress which would accompany the woman down the aisle. It would be plain and simple or made from the best fabric in the land, depending on the wealth of the bride's family. But to this day there lingers still the superstition of not sewing the last stitch until just before she enters the church, for good luck. Another sweet tradition, the one of the flower girl, started with the very long procession in which the entire wedding party would walk behind a little girl scattering flower petals-from the center of town all the way to the church. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments wootyhead (30) 19 Feb 2007 02:52 AMThere's really something to be said for the "hand fast" tradition: "This marriage lasted a year and a day, after which time the couple could 're-up' together forever, or leave the relationship, taking everything that each one had brought into it." Whenever did we lose that part of the process? It seems incredibly valuable, and certainly seems to make the whole prospect of eternal union a bit less daunting, with the inclusion of an understood trial period. I wonder who decided to eliminate that aspect of the tradition, and when... and why. That kind of trial aspect seems so necessary and reasonable and realistic and... smart. Such a granted period would probably be greatly beneficial to the dwindling state of the institution today. Perhaps cohabitation has replaced that trial period as the more modern version of the hand fast's first year? Also interesting is that origin of the wedding cake you note: "...Bring Your Own Biscuits. The biscuits were then piled high and the higher the stack, the more wealthy and happy the couple would be. After the couple kissed over the top of the hill of cakes, the pieces were handed out among the poor." There's a certan tragedy to the evolution and updating of these traditions that I'm noticing, because they lose their meaning the more removed they become from their origins. It's like reciting the "Pledge of Allegiance": we do it at moments deemed and understood as appropriate, facing the flag with our right hands over our hearts as we "should." But typically, there's little to no meaning in the words when we say them anymore--it's recitation simply because it's what we've been told we should do, and not necessarily because we understand, care, believe, or even register the words we speak. It's the same with these traditions--the wedding cake emerged with such a specific and profound, heartfelt purpose but that purpose goes unnoted today in the quest for the prettiest, most grandiose x-tiered wedding cake that no reception is complete without. The actions are repeated without so much as acknowledgement of their original meaning--recitation with no regard, just as with The Pledge. It all ties in very well to the lost idea and understanding of the institution of marriage itself in our society. The disregard and lack of understanding seems to carry over--again, the motions are repeated without sincere understanding of what they're all about, how it all began, and what it really means and requires. We've seen it and want it--that everlasting union that marriage supposedly represents--but now with no sincere understanding of it, and thus inadequate knowledge to understand how to handle or maintain it anymore, as we've lost touch with the roots of the institution. Discuss this article
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