The Bonding Hormone and Monogamy

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

12 Feb 2009 01:16 PM

There has been quite a bit of research into love and the brain. Scientists have isolated parts of the brain they believe that love is felt. So that stab to your heart is really coming from your head.

Within all of that science, researchers have made some conclusions about how we bond and why we are or are not monogamous. And it seems that there is a certain truth to the belief that some men just aren't cut out for monogamy.

Let's start with the woman. A hormone called oxytocin is responsible for encouraging bonding. Oxytocin is released during childbirth and nursing as well as when a woman is in love.

In men, there is a different hormone that is responsible for bonding. This hormone is called vasopressin. Vasopressin and the receptors for this hormone in men encourage bonding and a desire to stay with a partner. Researchers have found that there are some men that have a genetic variant when it comes to vasopressin. These men, they were ranked lower on an emotional bonding scale. They also reported more marital problems, and their wives were more concerned about their husband's fidelity and attachment. Perhaps in the future, science can help crete stronger marriages.

Other research has shown that these bonding hormones can be stimulated by certain behavior, such as kissing, hugging, touching and intimate contact. So, couples who are still holding hands after 20 years really are doing the right thing to stay close in their marriage. Another interesting point is that while women can get that close feeling after a few seconds of hugging, men need up to a minute to feel the same closeness. So, make sure to set aside some time for cuddling or physical closeness each day.

What do you think of this information? Is it helpful or just inane? Are you a physically close couple, or is your bond more cerebral?

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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