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Straight Talk for Potential Two Timers

You know if this article is for you or not, and if it is, be prepared for straight talk. If you are looking for excuses or validation, you won’t get it from me. It wouldn’t be helpful or honest. In fact, it would be as unfair to you as it would be to your family. Straight talk or tough love is more beneficial because it is honest even if unpopular, and I’m known for being pretty straightforward. So, let’s get down to it. If you cheat on your husband or wife, or are simply thinking about doing so, you won’t … Continue reading →

Is It Possible to Affair-Proof a Marriage?

On Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat Part 2” show, M. Gary Neuman offered three ways to affair-proof a marriage: 1. Appreciate your spouse more. In fact, make sure to appreciate your spouse as much as you possibly can. 2. Have sex. Make time for sex. Enjoy sex. (He suggested women are bad about receiving pleasure. Men are better at that. By nature they’re takers and we’re givers. We’re not comfortable receiving. Be it sexual pleasure or tokens of affection. Mr. Neuman said instead of saying “You shouldn’t have” when your husband gives you something, you should say, “Yes you should have … Continue reading →

Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat” Controversy

Last week Oprah did a show called “How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: Why Men Cheat Part 2.” I don’t know if she had the “Part 2” planned or not. From the previews it kind of sounded like they did it in response to all of the responses Part 1 generated. It was the previews that caught my attention. Since I wasn’t going to be able to watch the show when it aired, I recorded it. Saturday while Wayne and I were hanging out to nurse Murph, he was flipping through our recorded programs on the DVR and saw the Oprah … Continue reading →

What To Do When You’ve Got a Crush on Someone Other Than Your Spouse

On my article Are Crushes Natural?, a reader left a comment about how she’s happily married but developed a big crush on someone else. She even tried to hook the guy up with an available friend, but that only made her think about him more. She admitted she knows she needs to stop thinking about him, but also that she hopes the friend and him decide not to see each other again. Yikes. That’s a tough situation to be in. Now some of you will take objection to that and say “If she’s so happily married, why would another man … Continue reading →

Infidelity: Insult and Injury

In Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?, I pondered just that. As deedee1231 pointed out, it probably doesn’t make it worse, it just adds insult to injury. I believe that. Yet when I wrote that article I didn’t think beyond an STD as a consequence of an affair that might add insult to injury. But then the whole prostitution scandal with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer happened. Except, before I could ponder how he not only embarrassed himself but his poor wife and that’s certainly a huge insult too, my mom fell sick. I … Continue reading →

What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs

In my quest to find information about affairs and STDs I stumbled across “Infidelity: Myths, Facts and Healing,” an article by Ofer Zur, Ph.D. Dr. Zur discussed all manner of things related to affairs and presented some very interesting facts about them. Or at least I found them interesting. They were things I didn’t know. I listed my revelations below. 1. Finally! A concise definition of infidelity. Maybe Dr. Zur’s not the first to define it thusly, but of all the definitions I’ve read this one was most succinctly stated: “Infidelity is unfaithfulness to a sexual partner in an agreed … Continue reading →

Affairs and STDs

You often hear people talk about the psychological issues they suffer after finding out a spouse has had an affair (namely lack of trust), and there’s the other kind of fallout that manifests (counseling and divorce), but what about the health issues? How many affairs result in the contraction of an STD? Perhaps it’s a weird thing to wonder about. (Then again, I’m prone to that. “How Do Monkeys Keep Their Nails Clipped?” is proof.) But there you have it, I’m wondering about it. I blame Wayne. Not because he cheated and gave me an STD, but because of his … Continue reading →

Internet Infidelity Leads to Attempted Hit

This morning while I was once again watching Today (yes, I’ve noticed I start off with this line a lot), they ran a story about a woman who used Craigslist to try and hire someone to kill her lover’s wife. Apparently 49-year-old Ann Marie Linscott is married and lives in the Grand Rapids, Michigan, area. She met her lover, who lives in Oroville, California, while taking a course over the Internet. They engaged in a cyber affair, but when she tired of being the other woman she got the bright idea to use Craigslist to change all that. That’s pretty … Continue reading →

My Husband’s Fascination with Cheaters

When I say “cheaters” I’m referring to the TV show Cheaters, which is all about just what its names implies: people being unfaithful to girlfriends/boyfriends, fiancés, and spouses. Suspicious lovers come to the producers with theories their significant other is being unfaithful, investigators are hired, and the suspected cheater is followed and their actions are documented on film. If the target is caught doing anything (which is almost guaranteed; I have yet to see a show where anyone was innocent), the evidence is then presented to the suspicious lover. Then it’s confrontation time, with cameras still rolling. Wayne loves this … Continue reading →