Search Results for: blog staying for the sake of the kids

Staying for the Sake of the Kids

Should you stay in a physically abusive situation or even a verbally abusive situation for the same of the kids? That’s the question one of our families members posed recently. Now I have to say I have never been in this position and can’t imagine being so, but I known thing, like several of you who responded to this woman’s dilemma, I think staying is not the best option. Although it might initially seem less disruptive to the children’s lives and therefore seemed better to stay and shut up and ensure the children have a father, in the end it … Continue reading →

When Kids Feel They Have to Choose for the Holidays

Since my separation and divorce, I have worked hard to make sure that my kids didn’t feel like they needed or had to choose between families and houses. Now that my children are getting older and have more of a say in things, I can see that they are trying to maneuver between choices—family, friends, etc. and some of those choices are quite difficult. It really makes me feel for children who often feel like they have to choose between families! I even try to invite my children’s “other” family to my house when things seem to get sticky. This … Continue reading →

Staying Together for the Kids… Really?

We have all heard couples sigh and say they have to stay together for the kids. They give these noble sounding speeches, and while some people really do mean it and have the best of intentions, others are simply acting as martyrs and they certainly aren’t doing their kids any favors. That may seem a like a harsh thing to say, but unfortunately, it’s true in some cases. Don’t get me wrong, I am not promoting divorce. I wish that every married couple could find ways to salvage their relationships. It doesn’t always work out that way, but neither does … Continue reading →

Still A Part Of The Family

Recently I was reminded of what co parenting looks like when the entire extended family makes it work. Being a single mom I usually only look at things from my point of view but this weekend I got the chance to look at this as a relative instead of the single parent. My best friend’s son and his wife are divorced, their son is three. I think that Sarah and Tyler have done a wonderful job of co parenting their son. This little boy seems happy, well adjusted and well loved. When he is with us he is the apple … Continue reading →

The Day I Really Thought about It

I’m LDS (a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon) and I believe that marriage can and should last forever. My parents were divorced when I was a teenager, and this has reinforced my determination to keep my marriage alive and not to let anything happen to destroy it. One day, though, one very bad day, I contemplated divorce. Really, truly thought about it. We had been dealing with some issues in our marriage that didn’t originate with each other, but came along for the ride into our relationship. We had been on a rollercoaster, … Continue reading →

Verbal Abuse?

Recently I looked at the question of whether one should stay in a situation of abuse, even verbal abuse. But what do you think about when the term verbal abuse comes to mind? What constitutes verbal abuse? For some people I know it has been a husband who yells at them and makes them feel worthless and small by their derogatory comments. They are made to feel nothing they do is right and they are virtually a waste of space. Verbal abuse shows the other person has little or no regard for the feelings of their spouse. Even if these … Continue reading →

Are You a Sexy Mama?

Nearly five days after she appeared on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” rocking a super sexy, barely-there catsuit, songstress Jennifer Lopez is still making headlines. “Sexy Mama!!” screamed one tabloid. “Hot Mama!” blared another. And then there was this one: “OVEREXPOSED!” declared a British newspaper. That’s nothing compared to the comments made by Twitter addicts in the moments following Lopez’s performance. “There’s too many wrinkles. It looks like elephant skin,” a woman from Philadelphia Tweeted. Another person Tweeted that the outfit “made her look like some kind of weird naked Barbie doll.” From what I can tell, the hoopla … Continue reading →

March in the Snow

We got about six inches of snow Tuesday, and the forecast is now predicting 8-9 inches for tonight. There have been several different weather advisories, and I’d venture to say the kids will be sent home from school early. After having the last two days off for snow, the school decided to give it a try today. Conditions aren’t bad at the moment, but if this storm hits earlier than expected, they’ll be on their way home. It looks a little threatening, so I’ll be ready to go at a moment’s notice. I have lived here in the Ozarks for … Continue reading →

“Living” and “Visiting”

When I was first divorced, my kids definitely spent more time with me than they did with their father. The 50/50 parenting time split that was written into our divorce agreement was not what actually came to pass and I admit that I carried a great deal of resentment around it–especially since I never got a penny of child support or alimony or anything like that. It took a while for me to realize that my anger resentment was not only NOT helping the situation, it was actually making things worse for both myself and my children. For some reason, … Continue reading →

When You Think You Should Give a Child More of Yourself

I read an article recently that said parents actually spend more time with their children than they did fifty years ago. And yet, we still feel the pressure to give more of ourselves and spend even more “quality” time with our kids. What is a parent to do when the guilts come on and we feel like we should be giving more of ourselves to our child or children? I wrote last month about how I actually enjoy spending time with my kids and there are many times when I want to be with them just because I like them … Continue reading →