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Sowing Doubts

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How often do your hear a man put their wife down in front of their mates? Or the woman put her man down in front of her friends? It’s not good for a marriage to do that. Whether we like it or not, the comments other people make can affect our self esteem. A friend recently was very upset and hurt by a comment made by a family member. He tossed it off as a throw away comment and expected other people to laugh. She wasn’t laughing. The comment deeply hurt her. And it’s the sort of throw away comment … Continue reading →

F Means Fail

F means fail, right? So you certainly don’t want to get an F for your marriage. So here are three Fs to help keep your marriage on the right track. Faithfulness Being faithful to each other is a cornerstone of marriage. You need to know that your spouse is faithful to you when they’re at work or away on a trip. Your spouse needs to know you are faithful to them. But it’s more than just being faithful in the sexual sense, important as that is. It’s also being faithful in the way you talk about them to others. Constant … Continue reading →

Solutions for The Troublesome Tongue

Yesterday I talked about the dangers of the tongue in marriage relationships. All too often that is our spouse or family- the people we should be closest to that come in for the brunt of it. Surely this is a good reason then for us to learn to temper our tongues. It might well be an interesting idea for a married couple to do a bible study together about the tongue and its effects. This might make us more prone to stop and think before we speak. The bible has a lot to say, in James 1:26, James3:6-10, and 1 … Continue reading →

A Destructive Element in Marriage

Today I’m going to talk about what I see as a destructive element in marriage and one that many people fall too easily into. The problem is being a tattle tale. Now I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up I was always taught not to be a tattle tale. ‘Nobody likes a tattle tale,’ my mother said. A wise woman, my mother. In school there was nothing considered worse than being a tattle tale or as kids in Australia call it a ‘dobber.’ Yet it’s something I hear husbands and wives doing all the time to … Continue reading →

Ask the Right Questions In Marriage

Recently some married men and women were talking about their respective wives and husbands and a recurring problem. The problem is asking the wrong question. For example the wife might say, ‘Are you going to leave the light on all night?’ Now I don’t know about you but if someone said that to me I’d be tempted to cheekily say, ‘Yes,’ just to see the reaction. What the question should have been was, ‘I want to go to sleep. Would you turn the light off please?’ Another that one of the men raised was, ‘Who put that there?’ He went … Continue reading →

The Right Words

‘A friend understands what you’re trying to say … even when your thoughts aren’t fitting into words,’ says Ann D Parrish. While that may be true at times, we shouldn’t expect our friend to always be able to do this. Certainly we shouldn’t expect our spouse to always know what we’re thinking or feeling. Words are given to us for a reason. So we can use them. If you’re not happy about something your spouse is doing, if your marriage seems to have hit a bit of a brick wall, if your relationship has stalled, then don’t just expect your … Continue reading →

Tact in Marriage

Recently I’ve become aware of a number of friends and acquaintances who have been hurt by tactless comments tossed off by family members, friends and sometimes even casual acquaintances. I’m sure all of us at times have been on the receiving end of a comment, no doubt intended as a joke, but which has really been a barb that has wounded us. When that tactless comment comes from our spouse it can be particularly hurtful. Being married and so familiar with the other person is not a license to be able to say whatever we please, whenever we please. It … Continue reading →

Expect the Best

Expectations play a big part in our lives. Before we meet the one we are going to marry, we have certain expectations of what that person will be like. So long as these are realistic expectations and not based on the romantic idea of tall, dark and handsome, or blond and curvy or whatever the fantasy is, then expectations are a good thing. They are especially helpful if it helps us think through the type of person we are looking for and the qualities we would like them to have and those we know we could not cope with. When … Continue reading →