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Marriage is Like a Good Cup of Coffee

In a conversation with my married daughter recently, she came out with this gem about marriage. Marriage is like a good cup of coffee. Keep reading and you’ll see how. A prevalent idea around at present is that if it’s the right person, it will all come naturally and easily and without any effort being expended. I actually came across almost these exact words in a novel written by a young woman I read yesterday. There is the view that you won’t have to work hard to maintain the relationship. Again, that is reflected in many movies. We don’t see … Continue reading →

Marriage Doesn’t Prepare People

‘Marriage doesn’t prepare people for retirement,’Mick said today as we were talking about people we know and they way they hardly interact with each other. Think about it. His comment makes a lot of sense. The reality is for most of married life it is a case of the husband, or more commonly these days both parties, going off to work. They work in separate places and spend a lot of hours apart then come together in the evening with family. Then there are chores to be done and kids to feed and meals to prepare. It is not exactly … Continue reading →

Don’t Ignore Problems in Marriage

In any marriage there are difficult times and often they can be worked through as we talk them out. But much as we might like to think we can handle any problems in our marriage and work them out on our own, sometimes we may need to admit that we need help. This blog was prompted by a comment posted in response to another blog. In Packed to the Rafters, an Aussie TV show very popular here at present the husband Dave, had this to say ‘men have a way of dealing with problems. They ignore them.’ There’s a certain … Continue reading →

What to Do If Your Marriage Is in Trouble- Part 2

Yesterday we looked at ways to try and rectify some of the warning signs that a marriage is in trouble. Here are suggestions for combating the remaining warning signs. 7. Find an activity you both enjoy and take up that hobby or sport together, it could be painting, tennis, gardening, bushwalking. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you can share it together. 8. Before you are tempted to criticize, stop and think how you’d feel is if the criticism was directed at you. Change it and say something positive about your spouse instead. If they are the … Continue reading →

What to Do If Your Marriage Is in Trouble

So, you went through yesterday’s check list and found some of those warning signs in your marriage, what can you do? Before you decide the marriage isn’t worth saving, try some of these remedies. You might be surprised. Often when people commit to making a marriage work, they find it actually ends up better than it ever was. It’s surely worth a try. 1. If you no longer find your spouse attractive, why is that? Make an effort with your appearance for your spouse and it might encourage your spouse to make an effort for you. Buy your spouse something … Continue reading →

Warning Signs a Marriage Is in Trouble

On the radio yesterday I heard this comment, ‘our senses warn us of danger, we hear it, we see it, we react.’ What about in your marriage? Are your senses warning you of the danger in your marriage? Or are you ignoring the warning signs? Here are some of the warning signs that all is not right with your marriage. Many of these have been brought up in the forums. 1. You no longer find your spouse attractive and want to make love with your spouse or even kiss and cuddle up. 2. You find habits your spouse has that … Continue reading →

Signs a Marriage is in Trouble?

After 28 years of marriage, Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn are getting divorced and it seems everyone has an opinion about it. That comes with the price of being famous, I guess. But the truth is despite rumors and gossip, columnists and opinions of his fans, none of us know what their marriage was really like, any more than you really know want your next door neighbor’s marriage or marriages of friends or family are like. Similarly no-one really knows what your marriage is really like. Or do they? The reality is that we only see the tip of … Continue reading →

Learn to Recognize the Warning SIgns

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Is it not nice to have the warning systems that we have in our world today? We have warnings for storms and tornados. We have warnings for fires. We have warnings for burglars. We even have warning lights to let us know when there is trouble with our car. With all of these different types of warnings out there, you would think that it would be very easy for us to pick up on the warning signs of our relationship. However in some cases we are not as sensitive to those signs as we are to many other warnings. While … Continue reading →

Advertising Marriage?

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Our country has made divorce and couples living together fairly acceptable among society. However accepting these does not mean that there are not consequences to their outcomes. Many teachers and child caregivers will agree that children from broken homes or single parent homes struggle more with academic and emotional troubles over children from two parent homes. While this is common talk among teachers, I never realized that it was also advertised publicly. I was recently reading an article from a lady in Washington DC. She commented on the posters and billboards throughout the city that were promoting marriage. She listed … Continue reading →

Interviewing Your Marriage Counselor – Things to Think About

So you and your spouse have decided to work with a counselor to try and sort out some problems. Your problems may include: · Financial issues (e.g. compulsive spending) · Emotional issues (e.g. trust) · Physical Dysfunction (e.g. sexual intimacy) · Communication issues (e.g. frequent arguments) The type of problems may have similarities in their expression in your marriage, but your reasons for seeking out a marriage counselor are your own. At least until you’ve sat down and talked to the marriage counselor. When it comes to choosing a marriage counselor, you need to be able to talk to this … Continue reading →