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The Makings of a Good Marriage

What are the makings of a good marriage? Well there are several things that are important but a couple of them really stand out to me. One is perseverance. Perseverance is something sorely lacking in many marriages today. Think about what perseverance really means. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary it means to make a continual effort or to achieve something despite there being obstacles in the way such as opposition, failures or difficulties. Isn’t that what every marriage faces? At one point or another we may find ourselves in a season of trouble and tribulation. But when we can persevere, or … Continue reading →

Expectations of Marriage

The success or failure of a marriage, I’d suggest, does have a lot to do with expectations of the marriage. Many times expectations are unrealistic and romantic. They have a dewy eyed view of marriage. Then when reality hits, it is hard to cope with. The reality is marriage is not all happy times and romance. Sometimes it can be hard. Be prepared for that. Sometimes you may still feel lonely or misunderstood. Don’t expect marriage to fulfill all your needs and expect that person to fulfill all your needs. This is an unrealistic expectation. No –one person can do … Continue reading →

Shifting Changes in Marriage

Marriage seems to take a shift when your children begin to reach their teenage years. Depending on the circumstances surrounding your family this shift can be either a good or bad thing. One of the things I found happening in the past year or so is that I have had to come to grips with the reality of my children losing their dependence on me. At times I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness, despite not having an empty home. It just felt like my children didn’t need me as much and my husband works at least 60 hours a … Continue reading →

Marriage in the News: Romance in France

So with all the concern about marriage in the United States, the interesting thing to me is a recent article I read about France. The city of Paris is considered one of the most romantic in the world and when you think about romance, you think of French wine, the French countryside and in some cases – French cuisine. In the past generation, marriage within the population has fallen more than 30 percent and in large part because more and more couples have chosen to live together, build families and homes without civil or religious approval. According to France’s National … Continue reading →

Seasons of Testing

There are certain stages and circumstances in life that a married couple goes through in which the relationship is tested. While everyday can certainly be a test and an indicator of the strength of your relationship, some life events seem to bring out what truly lies underneath. One of the earliest circumstances I can remember my marriage being greatly tested in is about a year after we had our first child. I was pregnant with our second child when in the third month I miscarried. We each handled things very differently. Because of that, there were times we just weren’t … Continue reading →

We Cannot Live on Love Alone

During my first year of marriage I wasn’t as happy as I should have been. Despite the supposed “honeymoon period,” I often felt listless and depressed. It took me a while to figure out why. Jonathan has an excellent job with the government. Unfortunately it’s located in a rural area, so most of the jobs are related to the military base that his position serves. Few jobs exist outside of the technology industry. Basically, my plan to start freelance work once we had children, so I could stay at home with them, had to be bumped up a few years … Continue reading →

Life Doesn’t Always Come in Neat Little Packages

Life doesn’t always come in neat little packages. That has certainly been something my husband and I have discovered over the past couple of weeks. In fact, our packages have consisted of things such as problems with our teens (some minor and some not), an unexpected medical emergency ($751), family drama during Thanksgiving, a job change for my husband, a vehicle dying on us, and now trying to figure out how three drivers can share two vehicles. All of this in just two weeks…and meanwhile, I am trying to enjoy what is supposed to be the best time of the … Continue reading →

I Do But I Don’t

Over 20 years ago I said, “I do” in my wedding ceremony. I think with the passage of so much time, it isn’t a bad idea to go back to that place and really think about the implications of “I do.” It isn’t a bad idea for anyone who is married for any period of time, because I think what can subtly happen is that our “I dos” turn into “I don’t.” Consider the traditional wedding vows: I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, … Continue reading →

Being a Healthy Example to Young People

You know what I fear that society is teaching our young people today? That marriage just doesn’t work. Statistics have shown that marriages are on the decline. More and more people are choosing to live together. Now my point isn’t to say whether or not living together is right. What I want to focus on is the negative portrayal that marriages have been given. All you have to do is flip on the television and you are bound to come across a sitcom where marriage is poorly portrayed. You don’t see very many “happy” marriages displayed across our television screens … Continue reading →

Responding Instead of Reacting

One of the hardest times to connect to your spouse is when they are acting unlovely. Yes, it is hard to love the unlovely. You almost get this sense of entitlement and say to yourself, “I don’t deserve this treatment.” No one deserves to be treated poorly. Yet not one of us could claim to be without fault in this area. We all slip from time to time and granted, it may last longer than other times but we are all guilty. I always know when things at work are stressing my husband out because he tends to take it … Continue reading →