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Overcoming a Crisis in Marriage

The statistics for a divorce after a crisis in your life are overwhelming. A crisis, whether it is an internal conflict such as infidelity or something outside of your control, such as a death in the family, this is the time when your marriage may be most vulnerable. Here is some advice on how you can survive the crisis and make your marriage even stronger. Someone once told me that a crisis in life is just like a hurricane. It is large, loud, very scary and can result in injury or death. I think this is a good comparison. Hurricanes … Continue reading →

Seven Habits That Will Harm Your Marriage

Avoiding the following seven habits may also help you avoid a divorce. Psychiatrist William Glasser, MD and his wife, Carleen Glasser, MA, co-authored a marriage advice book called Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage. In the book, they mention “seven deadly habits” (they like numbers, it seems) that can lead to marital strife. They are: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing. It seems sometimes in our marriages that we don’t even realize that we are doing some of these things–hence the fact that they are habits I suppose. While I haven’t read the Glasser’s take on these myself, … Continue reading →

Dealing with Irritations and Problems in Marriage

How important are the little things in marriage? They are very important. It is often the little things which when ignored can become monumental problems in marriage. The other day we were listening to 60s song on the local community radio station. And Mick made the comment it’s often the little things that end up over time being the straw that breaks the camel ‘back. The little things about that their spouse does that start to drive a husband or wife crazy. So of course, I asked whether there were things I do that annoy him. The two he mentioned … Continue reading →

Seek Help Early with Marriage Difficulties

Did you know that the average couple waits and entire six years before asking help for marital difficulties? This fact is from the Gottman Institute, a research facility that has been studying marriage since 1973. Furthermore, most marriages end within the first seven years (also called “the seven year itch”). This is a sad state of affairs. It means that so many couples live with unhappy marriages for far too long. Unhappiness in marriage will ultimately lead to divorce in the majority of cases. Not only this, but unhappy marriages can affect the lives of the individuals themselves, subjecting them … Continue reading →

Don’t Fight Fire with Fire

The argument starts innocently enough. One of you may have had a bad day or a bad morning and is grumbling about something. The other person walks into the room and becomes an immediate target. “Why can’t you ever remember to do such and such?!?” The other person on the defensive immediately snaps back, “Well, at least I’m not always doing this, that and the other thing!” The next instant you know, you are in a full-blown argument with issues being dragged up from every direction and point in time. This resulting argument is now blown so out of proportion … Continue reading →

What is an Affair?

We all know the definition of an affair, don’t we? But wait! Go ahead and try to define it and it may not be so black and white. Behavior that might be seen as an affair by one couple or even one individual may not been seen as an affair by your own definition or vice versa. For example, is an affair when a spouse engages in sexual intercourse with another person outside of the marriage? Sure, okay, but what about if there is no intercourse, but there is kissing? Does a quick peck on the lips count? How about … Continue reading →