Second Marriages: Buying a New Home Together

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

30 Apr 2007 12:41 PM

It's arrogant to presume that when a person marries for a second time that they do so for anything less than the reasons a person may marry for the first time. It's very common in this day and age for men and women in their 40s and 50s to meet, fall in love and marry. They may or may not have been married before and chances are they have children from previous relationships. There is one challenge they face in their middle age that may never have confronted their younger counterparts - where to live?

Where Should We Live?

A hurdle to overcome is making the decision on whether they will be living at her house, his house or if they will instead purchase a third home together. There are reasonable arguments to be made for all of these cases. For instance:

When we married, Martin moved in with me, because I lived in the house I inherited from my parents; while my first husband and I raised our children there together and he passed away, there was a great deal more history in my home. Martin was willing to honor that history by living with me and together we redecorated so that he could put his own stamp on the home. - Ellen, remarried at 48

Ellen's family home carried a great deal of history and her husband wanted to honor that. In another case, Jessica remarried at 52 and she and her husband debated their living arrangements for the better part of six months as they planned their wedding.

Our children were as involved in the debate as we were. Our homes were the places where the kids grew up, so we wanted their input. Ultimately, we decided that I would move into Mark's house, but we didn't sell mine. Instead, I transferred the title of my house into my daughters' names and they moved back in as roommates. Mark's house was closer to many of the things we enjoyed doing and I felt a great deal more comfortable knowing my girls had the house they grew up in. My oldest daughter still lives there with her soon-to-be husband. - Jessica, remarried at 56

Buying a New Home Together

The third option, of course, is to sell their respective homes and purchase a new one together. Couples may choose to do this for a variety of reasons including: they may have a location preference or they may want to start fresh. The couple may actually be leaving the area they live in together. There may also be financial reasons for boomer couples in their second marriage to start over fresh. Financially, selling their individual homes may afford them to buy a bigger home to play host to their children and grandchildren.

The decision on where to live is an important one and requires some discussion. The couple's children may want to weigh in with their opinions, the couple may want to weigh their location preferences and of course, the couple's history in their homes can definitely play a role. But no matter where a couple chooses to live, it needs to be their choice - one made mutually in order to prevent any resentment with regard to their living arrangements.

Where did you and your spouse choose to live?

Related Articles:

Second Marriage Showers

A Toast for Your Wedding?

Remarrying the Same Person

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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