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Marriage Musings: Bad Memories

We all have bad memories. Days or places or things we’d like to forget. I’m not talking about the day where everything goes wrong (though I’m sure we’ve all had a few of those too). What I’m talking about are the bad memories related to the bad events that happen in our lives. For example, I remember the day my grandmother died. It’s a bad memory, though I am glad I was there and I was able to be there for my mother, the whole day is one blur of pain. It seems like whenever something goes truly wrong or … Continue reading →

Marriage Two-Timers: Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Sherry’s been doing a great series on affairs, separation and how to cope with the aftermath of the emotional and physical betrayals. But what we don’t talk about often is when the affair is much more than that – what if you found out your spouse maintained an entirely separate life from you? In the category of truth is stranger than fiction: Reverend Henry Lyons The Reverend was the leader of the National Baptist Convention from 1994 to 199. In 1997, his wife was charged in the burning of a mansion on the waterfront in St. Petersburg, Florida. The Reverend … Continue reading →

Marriage: The Human Life Cycle

For all of us, there is a natural cycle to life. This cycle pauses or passes through various stages that many of us are familiar with. These phases or stages prepare us for the future – including future decisions and phases. Among the most natural parts of our lifestyle include: Infancy Childhood Adolescence Early Adulthood Midlife Old Age All of us go through these stages or phases as we grow, develop and age. It’s important to understand that our marriages go through a similar life cycle or stages and that each stage prepares us for the next. These stages can … Continue reading →

Are You a Queen Gorgo?

Last night I watched the movie 300, which was about the 300 Spartans that took a stand against the entire Persian army and at first successfully held them. I’d heard many good things about it. I was warned the historical accuracy was questionable, but the special effects rocked. I was curious to see it, not because of the nearly-naked very buff men that dominate it, but because I’ve ended up liking the other Frank Miller movies I’ve seen. (Although the muscle-rippling hunks in this one were a nice bonus. 😉 But when it started I thought to myself, “There probably … Continue reading →

Are You Breaking Faith, Emotionally?

We all have friends or confidants that we enjoy talking to. We call them after a bad day; we call them after a good day. We may get together with them once or twice a week to just hang out and have a cup of coffee and a chat about all the things that are wrong or right that day. We need these friendships and those friendships sustain is in the workplace, while we are volunteering, outside of our kids activities as we swap stories in the 45 minutes or so we have to stand around and wait. But when … Continue reading →

True Love Doesn’t Equal Perfect Love

This is what I thought marriage would be: perfect. Why? Because I bought the “happily ever after” sales pitch and paid full price. Heck, I rushed right to the register and whipped out my money once I found it on the shelves. I was 15 when I met Wayne and we’ve been together ever since. Twenty-one years total this year. If I had the chance to do it all over again, even knowing his flaws, I’d still make the same decision again that I did back then. I regret nothing about our time together, because I believe in true love … Continue reading →

If only I weren’t married, then I would ….

Those eight little words are not positive for any married individual to be considering when they are married. After all, if only I weren’t married indicates you are seriously not thinking about being married. It also indicates a certain level of unhappiness with your marriage. Beyond That Beyond the negative implications of the phrase: if only I weren’t married, then I would … indicates a severe problem with your own level of self-confidence. The reason I stand by this is because I had that thought in my own head for about fifteen minutes once and then I spent about an … Continue reading →

Living With and Loving the In-Laws

There are a lot of jokes about in-laws and how awful it is. There are lots of movies and television shows that emphasize the terror that are the in-laws. Monster-in-Law is one film that leaps to mind. Few of these address the positive relationship that can occur between in-laws. Flexible, But Firm Let’s talk a moment about why a negative relationship can occur between in-laws. First and foremost, a new spouse is not ‘stealing’ away an in-law’s child and they should never interfere in the relationship between parent and child. They should think, and think very deeply, how they would … Continue reading →

Don’t Compete With Your Spouse

My husband and I are both very competitive people. Okay, well, he’s not as competitive as I am. I love a challenge. In fact, the best way to get me involved in something is to make it a contest. Who can do it better? Who can do the most? Who can deliver quality and quantity? Yeah, you get the picture. Well knowing this and understanding this – it’s important to recognize from the get go that while competition can be healthy – it takes work to keep it healthy. Competing with your spouse invites a lot of problems unless the … Continue reading →