Romance & Passion - Ever After

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

19 May 2006 11:16 AM

Romance and passion are two ingredients that cannot be manufactured in a relationship. In the beginning of most relationships, we would never imagine trying to manufacture those feelings. We didn't have to. But as we discussed yesterday, the busier we get - the more we rely on building just a functional relationship and not worry so much about the romance or the passion.

By the time we notice the lack of romance and passion - it is not too late - but it is time to make some changes. No one wants to live semi-okay for the rest of their lives. They sure don't want to live with putting up with it for the rest of their lives. No they want that happily ever after.

So how does one discover the road back to happily ever after when you've been dancing in the tent of the functional for so long? You start by evaluating where you are at. Too often, when we are stressed - we devalue the positive aspects of our lives. One way to remind yourself of the value of what you have is to ask yourself the following questions - ask your spouse the same. Don't be surprised if your answers are different - it does not mean one of you is wrong - it simply means you have a different perspectives.

• How often do you show affection for each other?
• How often do you laugh at each other's jokes?
• How often do you say something nice to each other?
• How often do you compliment you partner in front of others?
• How often do you make love?
• How often are you playful with each other?
• How often do you look each other in the eyes while talking?
• How often do you give each other a little surprise?
• How often do you say "please" or "I'm sorry?"

When you are done, identify the areas where you answered not enough or never. That's where you start. That's how you begin to recapture the intimacy, the passion and the romance. The idea that you have to work for these things sometimes is hardly new - love can be quicksilver - flashing hot and bright or it can be as steady as a candle that has been well tended and kept from the wind. You get out of it what you put into it.

How do you keep your romance and passion alive?

love, marriage, romance, stress, Tips