Search Results for: blog resolving conflict in marriage

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Tips for Conflict Resolution

My father passed away recently, and last night, I spent some time reading his life history. He stated that even though twenty years had passed since my parents’ divorce, he still didn’t know why my mother had filed. She, on the other hand, always said that she tried over and over again to resolve the issues in their marriage, and he never listened. Hearing it from her side, and then reading it from his, I began to realize that conflict resolution is a two-way street. Both parties have to be invested, but first, both parties have to know there’s a … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage – Part 3

Following on from last week’s articles about resolving conflict in marriage, these are also good guidelines to follow. Once you have sat down and talked thought the situation, move on. Practice forgetfulness. Every time negative thoughts come back to you, practice putting them away by thinking about good qualities of your spouse and re-enforcing the idea that the problems are over and you have a clean slate. Don’t keep harping back to what has already gone on before and keeping score of wrongs and hurts. The ability to put aside hurts and get along with others is a sign of … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage – part 2

One of the biggest problems, where there is conflict in a marriage, is one person feeling they are not actually being heard. So it is important that you listen and acknowledge your spouse’s feelings. Even if you disagree or think they are misinterpreting events or comments, for the moment keep that to yourself. Just let them know firstly that you love them and are actually hearing what they are saying about how they are feeling. If you are too quick to jump in with your own opinions or own version of events, it will effectively shut them down and they … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage

If you and your spouse are having problems, what can you do? A lot will depend on how long the conflict has been going on, what it is about and how serious the issue is. But you need to sit down together and talk and work through the situation. Here are some suggestions you might like to consider adopting. If you are a believer then talk to God before you talk to your spouse. Ask God to change the heart of your spouse, so that he or she is receptive and prepared to listen to what you have to say. … Continue reading →

Resolving to Make the Best of Marriage in ‘08

Happy New Year’s Eve! Last year when I was first hired on by Families.com I was only blogging over in Pets. At the end of December I set some New Year’s Resolutions to accomplish in 2007 in regards to the Pets Blog, which I recently took stock of. I thought it’d be a good idea to do the same here. (At least as far as making resolutions, that is. I didn’t make any last year in Marriage to take stock of now.) Resolution #1: Accentuating the Positive I’m a firm believer that a positive attitude is essential for a good … Continue reading →

Letting Kids Learn to Resolve Conflict

Conflict is a fact of life. As much as we hope for peace and tranquility and smooth human relations, the fact is that it takes work. This doesn’t mean that peace and positive relationships shouldn’t be our goal, but children do need to learn and develop good conflict resolution skills. The only way to learn how to resolve and cope with conflict is through experience. While we want to set an example for our children when it comes to conflict resolution, and we will definitely need to intervene as parents from time to time—we really need to allow our child … Continue reading →

Creating A Safe Environment for Conflict

This may sound a little odd, but your marriage should be a place where you can create a safe environment for conflict. Arguments in marriage are not necessarily a bad thing. When a married couple argues, they are demonstrating their passion, their need for change and their ability to communicate. Conflict and arguments in a marriage can be very healthy for the couple. When you and your spouse participate in healthy conflict, you can actually build a respectful and loving partnership that is based on communication and passion. How Do We Do That? This is a question we have to … Continue reading →

Top 5 Worst Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage

We talked about active listening earlier today and we’ve tried to offer a lot of suggestions on how to positively resolve conflicts and more. The following are the top 5 worst ways you can handle conflict in your marriage or in most other relationships. If you recognize yourself in the following descriptions, it may be time to consider alternatives in how you handle those conflicts. Going on the Defensive – The moment a problem is mentioned or an issue is brought up, you immediately go on the defensive instead of actively listening and hearing the problems that your spouse is … Continue reading →

Don’t Let History Repeat Itself

The statistics show that if you are child of divorce you are at a higher risk of your own marriage ending that way. Is there some pattern that we are subconsciously teaching our children when we get divorced? When I was a teenager I told myself, “I am not my mother. I’ll never end up like she did.” And yet, here I am in almost the exact same situation she was in over 20 years ago. Didn’t I learn how to have a healthy relationship? Didn’t I learn how to communicate effectively? Maybe, I did. Maybe, I didn’t. But how … Continue reading →