Search Results for: blog reaffirming or rehashing

The Marriage Blog Week in Review for Jan 27 – Feb 2

Welcome to our look back on the Marriage Blog Week in Review, this is our way of helping you catch up on the week’s worth of stories. We’re all busy and it’s easy to overlook articles when they are posted all day long – the week in review provides you with a summary of our articles in the past week. So without further ado, let’s dive into this week in review. Saturday, January 27 Reaffirming or Rehashing? is that what you and your spouse are doing when you argue or debate the same point over and over again? I’m sure … Continue reading →

Reaffirming or Rehashing?

Don’t you hate arguing with your spouse? Most of us do, but realistically we know we aren’t always going to agree on everything. When we do disagree, we have to take care to debate issues fairly. We often justify our arguments by telling ourselves that we are simply reaffirming something that is important to us. There’s nothing wrong with that, but there is the danger of using the old “never let it die” tactic, wherein we continue to rehash things from the past. This is a form of manipulation. While this doesn’t mean we cannot discuss past problems that have … Continue reading →

“Right Fighters” = Marriage Saboteurs

Yesterday I talked about how, among other things, the season for fighting is upon us. I also ended the article saying I’d examine some ways to fight fairly to ensure any fights you might have this holiday season are good ones, not just big ones –or, more importantly, rehashed ones. I’m actually going to start off by telling you a way not to fight. It has to do with the following quote and an article I wrote several months back about “Right Fighters”, a term I picked up from Dr. Phil. Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have … Continue reading →

‘Tis the Season for Fighting

While Hallmark and Kay Jewelers commercials may try and lead us to believe this is a season of receiving romantic gifts and creating peaceful memories, anyone involved in a real-life relationship knows this can be a season for anything but blissful moments. The holidays add stress. There are extra errands to run, gifts to buy, parties to attend, and schedules to shuffle. Yes, amidst the chaos there are happy times or else no one would sign up for the seasonal celebrations year after year, but there’s also the potential for plenty of chaos and short fuses –and I don’t just … Continue reading →

“Right Fighters”

I don’t get the chance to watch Dr. Phil very often, but a while back I happened to catch part of one of his shows. As he does so often, he was trying to help a couple understand why they fight so much. In this case it was because one of the spouses (I forget if it was the husband or wife) was what he calls a “right fighter.” What a Right Fighter Is Right fighters only care about being right. Whatever the argument is, as long as they’re right (or think they’re right), they’ll keep the argument going until … Continue reading →

Are You Honest with Yourself?

In all the books and blogs and magazines you’ll read, and in the many discussions you’ll have with other people about marriage, you’ll find that a lot of emphasis is given to being honest. Usually, it refers to being open and honest with your spouse and working to develop good communication habits. However, one cannot learn to be honest with others until he or she can be honest with him or herself. The problem is that being honest with ourselves can be difficult. It requires the ability to admit when we are wrong or when we behave selfishly. It requires … Continue reading →

The Things We Talk About

When you’re married – there really is no topic that is sacred. You can talk about everything from bowel movements to politics with equal aplomb. We can talk about the problems we’re having, we can talk about the fun we want to have. We can talk about our favorite books and our favorite lines from movies. One of the best parts about marriage is the banter we can share with our spouses. Banter Banter is a form of conversation that we don’t talk about often enough. It’s the conversation that occurs in passing whether your spouse is on the way … Continue reading →