Musings on Singles, Labels, and a "Big" Weddingby Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger 01 Oct 2008 10:00 AM As I noted in a comment response to Jade on my "Single Side of Things" article the other day, I finally had a chance to watch Sex and the City: The Movie. In "The 'Biggest' Wedding of the Season?", I'd mused about what the movie would deliver. A lot of happily-ever-after endings for Carrie and her BFFs? Meaning a wedding to Big for Carrie, and Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha having nothing but joy and contentment in their relationships. In the end that's what the movie delivered, but not before some major heartache was endured. Life Imitating Art The weird thing about the movie was, as I was watching, I was reminded of a lot of articles I've written recently. There was a lot of questioning about why people marry. It all started as Carrie and Big prepared to buy their "slice of heaven on 5th" (a very cool penthouse apartment.) Carrie and friends encountered a woman who'd been friends with a woman whose jewelry auction they were all attending. She was selling the jewelry because her boyfriend of 10 years had suddenly turned her out. The friend made a comment about it was such a shame. The turned out woman had been such a smart girl -until she'd fallen in love. This hit Carrie hard, because her relationship with Big had spanned 10 years and they were about to move in together yet he was buying the place. Where would her rights be? She mentioned this to Big, who offered to help the situation by marrying her, and, voila!, wedding plans were under way. But then Steve confessed to Miranda he'd had an affair. It reminded me of the "Why Men Cheat" controversy on Oprah. Steve strayed because Miranda wasn't there for him. She kept putting everything else first and neglected Steve. (I knew trouble was brewing on that front when, while in the midst of making love, she encouraged Steve to just hurry up and get it over with already.) In her case I saw how she could have affair-proofed her marriage just by respecting him a little more like she used to. But there was more conflict brewing. The Anti-Marriage Bashfest Miranda started the anti-marriage bashfest after learning of Steve's infidelity. She told Big at Carrie and Big's rehearsal dinner that they were nuts to get married. Marriage ruins everything. It affected Big, who semi-sort of stood Carrie up at the altar the next day. The rest of the movie put me on the defensive like perhaps my "Thoughts on Soul Mates and Single People" article put some others on the defensive. Suddenly marriage was viewed as the most deplorable institution out there --well, by everyone except that unflappable romantic, Charlotte. Miranda hated all men, Carrie felt betrayed (rightly so), and Samantha felt stifled being tied to one man for five years. They all gave marriage a big bah-humbug, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. Lessons Learned Eventually Miranda and Steve worked through their difficulties. Big and Carrie made up and got married in a nice simple ceremony that suited them both. Samantha realized no matter how wonderful Smith was, she was no man's woman. Never was and never would be. She was her own woman and that's how she wanted to keep it. It was actually Samantha's storyline that made me realize I'm still not practicing something I just preached. Not too long ago I'd written about how judgmental us women can be towards one another and how bad that is. Yet wasn't it just last week I judged single people as lying to themselves when they claimed that they were perfectly happy being single? It was Samantha's comment about a "bride gene" that first smacked me. Then it was her obsession over Smith buying her a ring that she'd wanted to buy for herself that made me realize some people just aren't cut out for the relationship thing. Some people are fiercely independent. They're not comfortable being otherwise. And that's okay. As the saying goes, "You are what you are. You gotta be who you gotta be." Sex and the City reminded me that there are all different types of women in this world. Some are Carries, some are Samanthas, some are Charlottes, some are Mirandas. Some are combos of two or more of the above. Just as they are all different and don't always agree or get along, they always respect each other and are there for each other. As I watched the movie, I was reminded that was what appealed to me so much about the show. And it's that same thing that appeals to me so much about the Marriage Blog. We attract all types here. So if you're single, in a committed long-term relationship, married, with children, or without, a working wife, or a stay-at-home one, here's my pledge to respect the Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda in you, girlfriend, --regardless whether we always see eye to eye or not. Courtney Mroch also writes in Pets and Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here. Related Articles Pop Culture Potpourri: "Sex and the City" Turns Back the Clock and Croc Hunter's Mini Me "Sex and the City" Star's Secret Revealed Live Like a "Sex and the City" Star Cash Concert Cancelled and "Stanford" Dishes on "Sex" Learn more about Courtney Mroch  Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments  Michele Cheplic |
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