Mindless Does Matter

“Contrary popular belief,” says Dr. John Gottman, the professor of psychology who founded the Gottman Institute. “It is the mundane events of everyday life that build love in marriage. Connecting in the countless mindless moments that usually go by unnoticed establishing a positive emotional climate.” Gottman’s research over the last 25 years has lead Gottman to the following conclusions: Only 20% of divorces are caused by an affair Marriages Die with a Whimper So if only 20% of divorces are caused by an affair (which flies in the face of all the muckety muck promoted by soap operas) then the … Continue reading

I Love To Weed, I May Need Professional Help

Sometimes people write blogs that inspire you to think about things. Recently Stephanie Romero wrote about Chores That Relax You. I could relate with the fact that she doesn’t find painting relaxing. I don’t either. I get all excited to paint but by the time I’m finished wrestling with all that blue paint, I’m done. It drives me crazy and no matter how careful I am I get paint on the ceiling, trim and carpet. Not relaxing at all. For me, it’s weeding. Although you couldn’t tell it by the state of my flower beds right now, weeding relaxes me. … Continue reading

The X Factor of X Men Origins: Wolverine

Recently we caught up with X Men Origins: Wolverine starring Hugh Jackman. As the name implies it gives the background of how Wolverine. came to be what he is. It’s all about what shaped him and what turned him from a mutant with bone talons that came out of his hands to an indestructible creature with talons of steel. Basically James gets fed up with the violence and killing. He tries to walk away from Team X, the group of mutants led by Major William Stryker. He settles down as a lumberjack with the woman he loves. But he finds … Continue reading

Marriage Stress Busters: Don’t Let Stress Tear You Apart

When you and your spouse are under a lot of stress whether it’s financial, personal, emotional or otherwise, it’s important to dedicate yourselves to each other and work together to bust the stress rather than letting stress tear the two of you up. The following stress busters are something the two of you can do together and while many are focused on the individual, sharing the stress busters is a way to team the two of you up so that you are working together and cementing the two of you together. As the old saying goes, that which does not … Continue reading

‘Friends’ Star Seeks Out a Marriage Therapist

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not big on celebrity gossip, but there was a little tidbit that caught my attention when it came down the newswire from United Kingdom. It seems that Courtney Cox (known as Monica Gellar in the series Friends as well as the reporter in the Scream trilogy) has engaged the services of a marriage therapist to help out with her marriage to David Arquette. Apparently, an argument between the couple was caught by the paparazzi during a recent vacation. According to the Yahoo News Report, Cox told Life weekend magazine: “I could see how relationships break … Continue reading

Is Cybersex Cheating?

My first encounter with cybersex is still something I find myself laughing about. For many people, being online takes away the fear and apprehension that people feel when speaking to someone face to face. They can be cooler or hotter, better looking or nicer. I’m not a huge fan of it and the naughty provocative bit wore off after realizing there are only so many euphemisms that one can use for the words male and female private parts. Even typing those terms here seems almost too clinical a way to refer to the act of verbally seducing another person through … Continue reading

When Infertility Becomes an Issue

Infertility is one of the most difficult things a couple can face together. When it comes to deciding to have a baby, most couples begin the natural way. It can take several months before they begin to take notice of the arrival of the monthly cycle with feelings of depression and disappointment. Most doctors define infertility as something that faces couples that have tried repeatedly to conceive a child, but failed to be successful after a year’s worth of attempts. The Emotional Drain It is emotionally draining to desire to create a child only to be routinely disappointed each month. … Continue reading

The New Infidelity

Shirley Glass, the late psychologist, identified a new trend in infidelity in her 2003 book: Not Just Friends: The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. Of the people she’d counseled, 82% of the unfaithful partners had affairs with a person who was just a friend. What’s more, she recounted that 55 to 65% participatid in relationships that Glass herself found to be emotionally unfaithful. That is to say that their relationships with their special friend is secret, charged and more emotionally open than … Continue reading

Coping with an Unfaithful Spouse

This is a difficult topic at the best of times. While the soap opera genre makes its bones on selling infidelity and dishonesty. No one likes to think it could happen to them. No one wants to imagine the scenario where it could or it did happen. More than one divorce can cite infidelity as the crisis point that the relationship never recovered from. Yet, a marriage may survive infidelity and a spouse may be able to cope when they have learned that their spouse was unfaithful. The very thought that your spouse has been unfaithful is enough to leave … Continue reading

What Didn’t I Say?

When it comes to arguing with our spouse, we ask ourselves what did we say? But more often than not, it’s not what we said in the argument that matters – it’s what didn’t we say? A lot of arguments come from the things we didn’t say and when we hold back, that withdrawal can lead to feelings of hostility and defensiveness on both sides of the relationship. What do I Mean? Well, let’s look at it this way: your husband comes home from work. He’s in a bad mood and he had a really bad day at the office. … Continue reading