Married Life: A Tale of Give and Take

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

01 Aug 2006 10:00 AM

Married life requires individuals to develop trust and a balance between giving and taking. Control issues can often trip up couples up when they are learning to mesh their lives and their habits together into a cohesive whole. Even couples who cohabitated before they got married discover that married life is very different in expectation and execution.

Whether you are used to having control issues or not, when two people join their lives together - there is always a certain amount of power struggle that occurs. It doesn't even have to be a conscious struggle for power, the need for joint decisions when you've always made your own; the expectation that you need to consult with someone else about what is going on in your life and what needs to be done.

As natural as the state of marriage can be, it can still be a real struggle. The following are some tips to help you overcome the feelings of give and take and the struggle for control.

• First and foremost, remember that you made your vows to each other and that this is the person you wanted to be with
• You need to remember that you're not perfect either and that your spouse is likely fumbling along just like you are
• Remember talking to each other should be your first line of defense, reach out to each other when you're struggling
• Don't hold on so tightly to each other that you are strangling each other
• Discuss with your spouse when you are feeling out of sorts or feeling the push pull of the give and take
• Be open to hearing what your spouse says when they want to discuss it

How did you handle the early power struggles of your marriage?

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Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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