Marriage Types: Choosing Childfreeby Lyn Newton | More from this Blogger 24 May 2008 10:51 PM My list of marriage types is quickly coming to a close. Nearing the end is a type that once again Courtney has given us some personal insight on, choosing childless. As many of you know, Courtney has several reasons why she and her husband choose to be childfree. While Courtney can give some personal thoughts on being child free, I will give some typical characteristics of child free by choice marriages. Not all couples without children fall into this category. Some couples are childless but not by choice. They have tried to conceive but have not been successful. However some couples never try to have children. Some couples know that they do not want children before they ever marry. Others are uncertain and children just never seem to fit into the picture after marriage. Either way, it is the couple's choice. In general, society characterizes children with marriage. When a couple is married for several years without children, the public often assumes that the couple has tried but cannot have children. It never occurs to others that perhaps the couple is not interested in having a family with children. Some couples are completely focused on themselves and on one another. They are not willing to give up the attention that is given to their relationship that often children consume. They enjoy the freedom and the risk taking that is often taken away once a couple has children. Couples who choose not to have children often put much time and love into having pets. They typically have a pampered dog or cat that consumes their extra time. These are often some of the luckiest animals in the world. Many couples feel that children mark the journey of their lives. However couples without children find other things to mark their milestones. They remember trips, job accomplishments and more. Another Reason I'm Married Without Children
Learn more about Lyn Newton  Lyn is a kindergarten teacher and mommy to a girl and a boy. In her spare time, she enjoys informative and creative writing. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments  Jade Walker (964) 27 May 2008 10:40 AMJust to clarify: The term childless applies to anyone who wants a child and cannot have one. The term childfree applies to anyone (straight, gay or bisexual) who plans not to raise or bear children for a variety of reasons. My beau and I intend to remain "childfree." Neither of us is infertile. Parenthood simply doesn't suit us. And we believe that if you're going to bring a child into the world, you should a) want it and 2) be financially, emotionally and spiritually ready for it. There are tons of perks to being childfree. Many marriages suffer from the arrival of children. Parents get so bogged down by raising a family that they forget to give care and time to their relationship. Childfree couples are also more likely to travel, obtain higher education degrees, make more money, work in careers they love and do community service.  Lyn Newton (3966) 27 May 2008 02:50 PMJade Walker, thanks for your comment. After reading it I researched more into the definitions of childless and childfree. I found that basically they have the same meaning but they are used based on a personal decision and perference. Many couples who can have children prefer to use childfree because it is a more positive term rather than childless (which many feel indicates a void or absence of something by the suffix "less"). In respect to those that choose not to have children and feel that the word childless bestows a negative attitude on their relationship, I have chagned my term. Thanks for the insight! Also check back later for more info and a look into a proposed book Childless by Choice; Love, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness by Laura S. Scott (who considers herself childless by choice).  Tristi Pinkston (10839) 27 May 2008 09:06 PMI do have to throw my two cents in the ring here, because you all know I can't be quiet. :) I don't really care for the phrase "childfree." That sounds like having children is a horrible bondage and that those who have children aren't free. Being a mother does limit my actions to a certain extent, but I don't consider myself to be in bondage in any way. Jade Walker (964) 28 May 2008 05:40 AMI understand your concern with the term "childfree," Tristi. Parenthood is not really a form of bondage, per se. However, you are certainly more settled and more restricted in certain areas. You can't just live anywhere you want; you have to consider the safety of the neighborhood, the quality of the schools, the access to parks and other kids. Childfree couples don't have such worries. Parents have to plan vacations around school breaks. Childfree couples may travel whenever they want. Parents have extra costs to pay for having children -- be it financial, emotional or physical -- and must work extra hard to stay competitive in the workplace. Childfree couples don't. There are, of course, many perks to having children. But limitations come with that choice too. Lyn Newton (3966) 28 May 2008 05:53 AMI agree with both of you. If you really want children the joy and love that htey bring to your life makes the worries well worth it. However if you do not want children, I can see how perhaps it wouldn't seem worth the effort to go through all of those things. It is all in ones perferences and personal interests. I cannot imagine my life without children. And yes they do consume msot of my life and my marraige at times. My husband an I have choosen to make them a priority now. While we still work on enriching our relationship, we will spend our "carefree" time together after the children are grown. Thanks to both of you! Community Tags couples, childless, family, married without children, no children Discuss this article
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