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What Makes a Marriage Work?

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

Lessons Learned

My ex husband and I met in high school. I had dated a lot, but being so young, I wasn’t particularly concerned about whether or not they were marriage material; I was too young to get married anyway. I had been warned to make good dating choices, but I was young and inexperienced, so like most teenagers, I didn’t realize the importance of those decisions quite yet. About a year after graduation we decided to get married. Neither of us really knew what we wanted in a spouse, it just seemed like the right thing so we got married and … Continue reading →

Tips for Creating a Happy Marriage

A happy marriage – isn’t that what all of us want? What can you do to increase your chances of a happy marriage? Here are some suggestions. You can often tell when a marriage is happy or when it is not. It shows in the faces of the couple as they look at each other and relate to others. It shows in the way they talk about their spouse. They don’t criticize and draw attention to his or her faults. Rather they draw attention to their loved one’s good points. They certainly don’t talk negatively about their spouse when they … Continue reading →

Staying in Love

Falling in love is easy. ‘Staying in love, creating a love that last, is the tough part.’ These were words a mother said to her son who was soon to be married. I read them this week in a novel by Marie Bostwick, called A Thread So Thin. Just because it is a novel the words came from doesn’t mean there’s not a lot of truth in them. In fact a lot of the advice about love and marriage handed out in this novel rings true. You suspect many of them came from actual conversations. I’d be interested to ask … Continue reading →

How to Say No

As I mentioned earlier, I’m feeling bad about having said no to a few commitments this week. I love my friends, and enjoy helping them, and don’t like to feel like I’m letting them down. But sometimes, you just have to say no. Sometimes you’re over-committed, sometimes it’s just something you don’t want to do, sometimes you just can’t fit it into your schedule. Still, all those reasons don’t necessarily make it any easier to say no — especially when it’s a friend doing the asking. Here are some tips to help make it a little easier to say no. … Continue reading →

What Would You Change?

If you had the chance to do it all again with your wedding and your marriage, would you? Would you marry the same person? Would you change anything? I was thinking about blogs the other day in the car when I heard the song The Way We Were and of course on of the lines echoed these thought. If we had to do it all again, would we? If I had to do it all again, yes I would make changes. No, not my darling husband. That’s non negotiable. There is no way I’d ever want to swap him. Recently … Continue reading →

Cutting Clutter Can Be Simple

Whenever I am faced with clutter or even the idea of bringing something new into the house, I try to ask myself, “Who are you?” Knowing who I am and want I want to do makes it simple to lose the clutter. Here is what I mean. First decide who it is you are or want to be and what it is you want to do. What do you love doing? Do you like to network with other people? Do you enjoy being a caregiver to your children? Are you an artist? Do you like country? Get a clear sense … Continue reading →

Love, Honor and Obey?

The traditional words of the marriage ceremony require the woman to promise to ‘obey.’ Did you promise to obey? I didn’t. Our minister suggested ‘cherish.’ That’s what both of us did – we promised to love, honor and cherish. Why the difference and does it makes a difference? Promises are something that Mick and I take seriously and I couldn’t in all conscience to promise to obey. No, it wasn’t that I am a rampant feminist and against submitting to my husband, because I’m not. Obedience speaks more of a sense of duty rather than any other emotion. Cherish has … Continue reading →

More Tips for Dealing with Stress in Marriage

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Here are some more tips to help you deal with stress in your marriage and your life. Spend time each day deliberately not thinking about the negatives and what is wrong with your marriage or life, but look for 1-3 positives each day in your marriage and in your life. When you start looking for positives I’m sure you’ll find some. A gratitude journal is a good idea for keeping an eye on the positives on your life. Listening to music soothes our soul as one of our local choir songs reminds me. Sing along. Who cares what it sounds … Continue reading →

Choosing A Name for Baby

Choosing a name for your baby can be fun. Or it can end up as a nightmare. Firstly the couple needs to decide if they want to use the name of any family members either as first names or second names. One thing we were agreed on was that we didn’t like the idea of a child having the same name as a parent, even though I love the name Michael, which I think is a romantic sounding name. Mick doesn’t. like it. That was a compromise I had to make when we started going together. Each time Mick and … Continue reading →