Marriage Tips: Make Love Your Decision

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

25 Aug 2006 07:26 AM

When you married your husband or wife, you made a conscious choice and dedication to love that person for the rest of your life. Not just the rest of their life, but your life. You are not choosing to love their habits or their choices, you are not even choosing to love their ability to make money or have fun - you are choosing to love them.

Who You Love Is Your Choice

When you are experiencing problems or difficulties in your relationship, you may cite all of their negative behavior traits as reasons why you can't imagine you loved them in the first place. Maybe you are frustrated by their choices. Maybe you are wondering how you two could be so different and worst than that - maybe you are questioning why you loved them at all?

Remember, current events color our perceptions. When we're happy, we reflect on all the wonderful things. When we are troubled, we focus on all the bleakness and frustration. It's easy to get caught up in the problems because they are happening right now - they are in the moment.

But what happens when you stop thinking about all the things they've done wrong and you focus in detail, on all the things great and small that they do right? You begin to reassert your own choice to love them. While love may be blind, it is not ignorant.

You Are and Are Not a Judge

You may judge who you love, but choosing to love someone is not a decision. People cannot make you fall in love with them. You are still making the choice - you made it before you married them and you make it every day. When you choose to love someone, you choose to look for solutions to your problems and to make things continue to work for both of you.

Do you choose to love your spouse?

Related Articles:

Relationship Dynamics: 5 Tips on Compromise

Marriage Tips: Tides of Feeling

Marriage Tips: Quiet Moments

Marriage Tips: Zest (Enthusiasm)

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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