Search Results for: blog marriage solving problems together

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage – part 2

One of the biggest problems, where there is conflict in a marriage, is one person feeling they are not actually being heard. So it is important that you listen and acknowledge your spouse’s feelings. Even if you disagree or think they are misinterpreting events or comments, for the moment keep that to yourself. Just let them know firstly that you love them and are actually hearing what they are saying about how they are feeling. If you are too quick to jump in with your own opinions or own version of events, it will effectively shut them down and they … Continue reading →

Resolving Conflict in Marriage

If you and your spouse are having problems, what can you do? A lot will depend on how long the conflict has been going on, what it is about and how serious the issue is. But you need to sit down together and talk and work through the situation. Here are some suggestions you might like to consider adopting. If you are a believer then talk to God before you talk to your spouse. Ask God to change the heart of your spouse, so that he or she is receptive and prepared to listen to what you have to say. … Continue reading →

Taking on Challenges Together is Good for Marriage

For a while there in the business world, everyone made a big deal out of team building by developing challenges that forced people to work together and solve problems. And surveys have shown that taking on a challenge with someone else leads to bonding between people in a group. We can apply this same thinking in marriage. Trying new challenges together can be good for marriage, especially if you come into the challenge with a sense of being in the situation together. Challenges can strengthen your marriage in two ways. You can try something new together, such as ballroom dancing, … Continue reading →

Letting Them Solve Problems WITHOUT Interference

We often talk about the road to independence here in the Parents blog and we also talk about teaching, guidance and intervention. I thought that it was high time we talk about letting our children solve problems without a word or intervention from us as parents. It can be hard; much easier said than done; but if they are to develop problem-solving skills and confidence, the children need opportunities to tackle things without our getting in the way. When a child is learning to walk, he or she falls down—it is a given. As a parent do you rush over … Continue reading →

Long Marriages: This Family Knows How to Do It

A few weeks back one of my favorite Families.com commentators, Jade Walker, PM’d me with a subject line that read “A Case for Long Marriages.” Within the PM she included a link to an article and the brief note: “Apparently, the key is to have the wife stay at home.” I would have clicked the link anyway, but that was a definite attention getter. “Has there been some kind of study done proving there’s a correlation between stay-at-home wives/moms and long marriages?” I wondered. Not exactly. But if we study the seven siblings (five sisters and two brothers) who make … Continue reading →

Laugh, Cry, Kiss Your Problems Goodbye

Having a hard time lately? One of the best pieces of advice I have seen for coping with communication problems and disconnect in a marriage is to go out and have a good time. You may be looking skeptically at this, but I’ve known two couples who went to a couples weekend to work on their problems. They spent four days at a resort where they thought they were going to spend the weekend delving into every part of their problems and confronting the ugliness that has become their marriage. A Night on the Town The first step they were … Continue reading →

The Marriage Week in Review October 21-27

This was a great week here in the Marriage blog and as always; it’s a pleasure to share the challenge of bringing you marriage news and information with Sherry. Our guest blogger this week was Catherine Ipizcade and I suggest you check out her blogs on celebrating her marriage as well as bridal shower tips. For Sherry and I, the biggest challenge came at the end of the week as the New Jersey Supreme Court handed down their decision on Same-Sex unions. While Sherry and I often come down on opposite sides of this issue, we believe in healthy and … Continue reading →

Sleeping Together – The Benefits and the Challenges

When you’re married, we talk about sharing the marriage bed and the intimacy that creates. This is about more than sexual desire, however, it’s about the spooning, and the snoozing, the snuggling and the stealing the sheets that couples do when they sleep together. Sleeping is and of itself a very individual activity and while you may snuggle with your spouse and wake up to them, when you are sleeping – it’s not usually one we consider a joint activity. Millions of Couples Sleep Together The truth is, millions of us do share our beds and we do sleep with … Continue reading →

Top 5 Worst Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage

We talked about active listening earlier today and we’ve tried to offer a lot of suggestions on how to positively resolve conflicts and more. The following are the top 5 worst ways you can handle conflict in your marriage or in most other relationships. If you recognize yourself in the following descriptions, it may be time to consider alternatives in how you handle those conflicts. Going on the Defensive – The moment a problem is mentioned or an issue is brought up, you immediately go on the defensive instead of actively listening and hearing the problems that your spouse is … Continue reading →