Marriage Myths: Don't Believe Everything You Read

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

03 Oct 2006 08:48 AM

Don't believe everything you read. Don't believe it whether you read it here or somewhere else. That being said, when I say don't believe everything you read, I mean that you should read everything with a grain of salt. This protects you from just believing something because that's what you've been told and to cross check your information against other sources as well as your own experiences. When I write here, that's exactly what I do.

When you talk about marriage and relationships, there is an entire library of research out there with hundreds of different opinions and such. The research is extensive and there are so many myths being advertised and debunked that sometimes you might wonder how relationships ever managed without this plethora of research.

What Do We Know

With all this research, what do we really know about relationships? We know that our relationships are impacted by how we feel about ourselves. We know that how we feel about ourselves impacts our relationships. Our relationships are defined by the love we share - our marriages are defined by passionate love. Passionate love is comprised of support, intimacy, friendship and of course, passion.

What do we know about this kind of love? We know that the love we feel for our spouses is the love that:

• when something good happens, the person we love is the first person we want to tell
• when something bad happens, the person we love is the first person we want to tell
• when we're in pain, we seek comfort from them
• when something silly happens, we laugh with them
• when we're angry, we can reach out to them and vent and get validation for our feelings

Love and relationships may be summed up in our marriage vows of in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer - but the point is that we do know that love exists and that our love is important.

What We Don't Know

What we don't always know is that there is no perfect solution to every marital problem. We don't know why some people never argue and why others always argue and that both couples would define themselves as happy. We don't know why some problems seem massive to one person in the relationship and not so massive to the other. We don't know why some people can be angry and get over it without ever discussing the problem and other couples have to hash out every minute detail.

So don't believe everything you read about the myths and the truths of relationships. The point is - we're all individuals and we're all independent. Our relationship choices are based on who we are and how we interact and since no two people are exactly alike - you have to look for the nuggets of wisdom amidst the wealth of advice that is out there.

So read with a grain of salt and weigh the research and the advice against your personal experience and find what works for you and your spouse. So while you shouldn't believe everything you read, you can definitely believe some of it.

Related Articles:

Marriage Tips: Saturday Morning Wake Up Call

Myths About Marriage

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Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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