Marriage Means No More Dating Others (or Does it?)

by Sherry Holetzky | More from this Blogger

09 Nov 2006 08:01 AM

Why do people bother getting married if they are still interested in dating others? Please clue me in. I'm one of those fuddy-duddy, conservative, traditional people who thinks that vows actually mean something.

Granted, I generally defer to a position of "to each his own" - if no one else is affected. Yet, when you find married people on dating sites, saying things like "married but still looking," I think it's a little much.

I was looking around for information on dating sites to write about when I came across some of these ads. I'm not going to link to them, because some were more than a little risqué.

Silly me, I presumed that dating sites were for singles, not for married people to find extramarital "dates." I will say this; I do give the people making such ads some credit. At least they were honest about the fact that they are married instead of allowing others to believe that they are single.

Still, I guess I'm just not "progressive" enough to understand why promises and commitments don't mean anything any more. Why not just stay single if you still want the freedom to date other people? I'm truly curious. If I'm missing something, please, explain it to me.

Now, I'm sure plenty of people have other opinions. I'm sure some people think it's fine for people to do whatever they please, and others may think it's fine as long as the other spouse is aware. It is of course all a matter of personal choice. That may be true, but I know I'm not the only one that believes swearing your love and fidelity to one person for the rest of your life matters.

While I am far from being shocked or even surprised by this, I do find this trend disturbing. What kind of example is this for future generations? Don't we want children to believe that sworn vows and values have meaning? Or, do we really just want a society where anything goes?

Related Reading:

Redefining Words: You Won't Believe this One

Defining Marriage: What about Polygamy?

Marriage Debates: Unrealistic Demand

Learn more about Sherry Holetzky

Sherry Holetzky is a work at home mom and freelance writer. Married to her best friend, Sherry and her husband are raising their family in a quiet rural setting in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.

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Teresa McEntire (2984) 10 Nov 2006 01:36 PM

Vows should mean total fidelity. That's the example I am trying to set for my children. I agree dating while married is crazy. If that's what you want don't get married.

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 11 Nov 2006 10:56 AM

Thank you, Teresa, I completely agree! Vows matter.

Lessly (57396) 11 Nov 2006 11:09 AM

Some people unfortunately think that getting married is just another piece of paper that just entiles then to added bonus'. I personally don't understand why you would get married to someone and then still want a relationship else where. Although some couple's "swing" I find this wrong on so many levels. Esp when children are involved. What are they teaching these kids?

This would make a very interesting disscusion/debate. Thank you for posting this.

Julie Gentry (5915) 12 Nov 2006 01:50 AM

Why do they even bother getting married if they're still looking?

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 12 Nov 2006 01:20 PM

Excellent points, Alejandros Mommy. I like a good debate. I'd like to any argument intended to convince me that this is a good thing for marriage, family, or society.

Sherry Holetzky (11404) 12 Nov 2006 01:22 PM

Exactly right, Julie. If marriage doesn't mean anything any more, why bother?