Marriage is Bad for the Community? Really?by Heather Long | More from this Blogger 29 May 2007 05:12 AM Marriage is a sacred institution and it's about deepening family ties whether you are a European princeling making a power match with an Austrian duchess or an Irish-American dentist marrying an Italian-American schoolteacher and integrating their extended families. We build communities around this sense of nuclear family and by extension the rest of the family on both sides. Marrying broadens your local community, incorporating a whole new support network and more. But according to sociologists Natalia Sarkisian and Nami Gerstel - not so much anymore. In fact, it seems that modern marriage is more about people setting themselves apart. They aren't just isolating themselves from their local community, but also from their extended families. This phenomenon isn't limited to just newlyweds, but all married couples. So What's the Deal? According to Sarkisian and Gerstel, a study they completed found that marriage actually reduced the community ties that couples maintain.. Apparently, married couples are far less likely to visit, write or call their relatives versus divorced or unmarried individuals. They used data from two surveys:
It seems that heterosexual men who are married show the largest margin of distance from their families. They often rely on their own spouses to maintain those familial relationships and keeping in contact. (I can vouch for this, I can't count the number of times my husband's family came to visit and I was the one who entertained and visited with them while he was off doing other things). The flip side to this argument is that it appears that divorced individuals have far stronger ties to their community than their married counterparts, but single people who have never been married have the strongest of all. Singles are twice as likely to socialize with their friends and coworkers as married people. They are also more likely than their married counterparts to provide help to their friends and neighbors. So All Married People Are Hermits? No, the most socially interconnected married couples are those who have young children. These are the couples more likely to reach out to their friends, neighbors and extended families. They create networks that reciprocate obligation and friendship and community. So what is the goal of pointing out these problems with our socialization skills and more? Apparently Sarkisian and Gerstel are not trying to bash marriage at all. In fact, their goal is just the opposite. They want to encourage married couples to become more involved in their community and to nurture those community ties they may have let lapse since they married. Our world supports the independent and we put a great deal of focus on our families as a cornerstone of society - but they need to maintain their commitment, communication and connection to their community or they are a cornerstone without a greater foundation to be connected to. In fact, married couples have a great deal to offer to a more vibrant community the more involved they become. So nurture your marriage, nurture your family and nurture your community and family ties. What do you think? Do you socialize less now that you are married than you did when you were single? Related Articles: Are We Out of Love With Marriage? Religious Groups Offering More Support to Strengthen Marriage Marriage News: Are Marriages Really In a Minority? Learn more about Heather Long  Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments  Tristi Pinkston (10839) 29 May 2007 11:01 AMI seem to recall a verse in the Bible that talks about a man leaving his mother and a woman leaving her home and cleaving unto one another. It's a natural thing to do -- when we get married, we form a new unit. I know we don't get together with family as much as we might, but they're also spending time together just as we're spending time together. Interesting blog -- I'd never thought about it, really. Community Tags community, foundation, family, marriage, society Discuss this article
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