Search Results for: blog marriage is a compromise

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Saving a Marriage

It seems like everywhere I turn lately, there are marriage problems…serious ones. Couples that you would never imagine considering divorce seem to be on that path. I recently met with a woman who had filed for divorce but then stopped it. She is willing, although very reluctantly, to give her husband a chance to work on his issues. They are serious, difficult issues. My heart feels for her. It is painful to see her pain. It would be easy for me to say, “Get out while you can.” But I tend to be of the mindset that you should first … Continue reading →

When Your Marriage Faces Parenting Challenges

It’s been an interesting week in our home. There are points in time that everything is going along fairly smoothly. There may be a bump or two in the road, but nothing major. Then suddenly you have a week where all three of your preteen and teen children decide to test the waters or stretch your patience or whatever it may be. Suddenly your marriage finds itself being tested as well. Navigating through the relationship of a husband and wife is challenging enough without throwing into the mix some children. Now you have additional relationships to work through. Then there … Continue reading →

Are You Selfish or Selfless in Your Marriage?

Let’s face it…it’s in our nature to be selfish. And our society sure knows how to fuel that. We expect instant results, instant gratification and instant service. Just about anything we want is at our disposal. So we have to be careful that we don’t take that into our marriages. One important component to a happy, successful marriage is selflessness. But I’m afraid that it’s not something we see demonstrated very often, so we may be unsure what that exactly looks like. To be selfless is to be the opposite of selfish. So it might include giving in on some … Continue reading →

Fidelity Ruins Marriages?

I realize that for many, there is much to be celebrated about since New York passed its same-sex marriage bill which will allow for gay marriage to be legal starting on July 24, 2011. But do we really have to start tearing down the traditional marriage? That is exactly what happened in a recent article that appeared in the “New York Times.” It was written by a homosexual sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage. He said that fidelity destroys more marriages than it saves (I would like to see the statistics on that one). Yes, you read that right. It is the … Continue reading →

Marriages Need Compromise

I think one of the most difficult things to do in a marriage, or in any relationship, is to compromise. Compromise means you are willing to do your part to make something work. It often requires that you give something up. Last week was one where compromise was greatly tested. My husband took a week of vacation, more or less just to use it up, along with the fact that our kids were on their first week of summer break. However I was not on break, so I still had a full workload. Of course, working from home has a … Continue reading →

Reaching a Compromise

Marriage is a compromise. It is about give and take. That means sometimes you may have to give in on some things. Decide which things are of prime importance and which are not worth worrying about. Some things, like differences in faith and values are more likely to present serious challenges than character traits like untidiness or whatever it may be. Of course if the character trait is selfishness or anger that results very quickly and with consequences for those round them, then you might want to give it serious thought. So before you go into it you need to … Continue reading →

Marriage Preparation Classes- Part 2

Yesterday we touched on the value of marriage preparation classes for those coming from divorced parents. However, even where a couple does have a positive model to follow, marriage preparation classes are useful. Both our son and daughter went with their respective partners to marriage preparation classes while they were engaged and found them extremely helpful in giving them a clearer picture of what marriage is all about. The classes raised things they may not have thought about as well as identifying traits of each person that will affect the way they react in a given situation. For example, it … Continue reading →

Getting Upset in Marriage

We all get upset at times with things that happen in our lives, things happen to us that are outside our control and that we hadn’t counted on. Often it is caused by the words or actions of others. How we respond to what happens to us, can tell us a lot about ourselves and our natures. When it comes to marriage and family life, there are always going to be things that will happen that we didn’t count on. I’ve felt that way just this morning. It wasn’t with Mick and the problem wasn’t caused by him but someone … Continue reading →

Choosing the Wedding Over the Marriage

When you think of marriage, what is the picture that comes to your head? Long easy days of spending time together, building a life together, compromise, love, fidelity, privacy, support, raising children, sex, security, faithfulness, companionship, intellectual stimulation, closeness, a long beautiful gown, being a princess for a day, being chosen, being the center of attention, tulle or silk, flowers, gourmet food? If the last part of that list seemed a little off to you, that is a good thing. So many young people, young women especially, focus on all of the things related to the actual wedding. Often, more … Continue reading →