Marriage is a Commitment

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

20 Aug 2008 08:05 PM

How many times have you heard people say, 'Marriage is only a piece of paper?' Is it? I disagree. Marriage, I believe, is a commitment.

Whether you get married in a church, a garden or a registry office doesn't matter. The promise is the same. You are promising to love and give yourself to another person. It's a commitment to that person, before God, and even if you're not a believer, before friends, family and society. It's both a commitment and a promise.

Yet we hear people say 'Marriage? Who needs it? We get along fine without it.' Do they? Statistics prove otherwise.

Years ago I remember doing a course - the name of which now escapes me. I really only remember one fact from that course and that is people who live together before marriage are actually more likely to split up and divorce after marriage than those who don't live together. At the time I found it hard to believe and wondered why this was so.

Dr Harley of Marriage Builders suggests 'Don't live with each other before you marry. Eight-five percent of those who do end up divorced. He gives some reasons why this happens.

Marriage changes things. The act of making that commitment changes the relationship. Because when people marry they are making a firm commitment to each other.

Really listen to the words of the marriage service

'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part'

and it soon become obvious what a binding promise and commitment people are making to each other. For better or for worse in sickness and in health until doth us do part.

We've all heard the, 'Try before you buy idea. Let's see if we're compatible.' It's been around for a while. But statistics show it doesn't work. Look at these statistics if you don't believe me.

Instead of making divorce easier or encouraging couples to live together, as the parents of someone I know did, we should be encouraging men and women to think more seriously about what they are committing to. We also need to encourage more pre marital classes and training, as my children and their respective partners did, that will help people have a realistic view of marriage, of the problems and joys ahead of them.

Please Visit These Related Blogs

What Love Is: Learning Long Marriage Secrets from Families.com Members

Keeping the Happily Ever After

Stats on Long Marriages

Marriage is a Compromise

Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger

Samual (11722) 22 Aug 2008 08:03 AM

Marriage has changed nothing for me, if you aren't commited before marriage when why are you getting married? You should have the same commited before and after marriage.

Dale Harcombe (10321) 22 Aug 2008 06:19 PM

Good point. I agree commitment is the key. So, I guess given the statistics some people are obviously not committed before marriage. I too, would wonder why they are together.

sammydg04 (35) 29 Aug 2008 01:40 AM

I made the mistake of living with my husband before we were married (however unofficially...as if that matters). At the time it seemed harmless, and it did feel wonderful to fall asleep next to him and have the intimacy of living under the same roof. As soon as we were married, though, I knew that I had cheapened the experience for myself. Falling asleep next to him on our wedding night felt like normal routine.

Now we have been married only three months. We still love each other, of course, but I don't see us having the passion that other newlywed couples around us seem to have. I honestly see two sides of it. We feel more comfortable together (no matter the circumstance) have developed a deeper friendship and trust for one another. Other newlywed couples have the advantage of having more novelty, passion, and excitement in their new marriage.

I know that we won't become a statistic because I made a commitment to myself a long time ago that I would never divorce. it is interesting to note the differences, though. (Sorry this is so long)

Dale Harcombe (10321) 29 Aug 2008 08:32 PM

Interesting to read your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them