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The Price of Nagging

Be warned – nagging comes at a price. Yesterday’s headlines carried the story of a man in the UK who offered his nagging wife, who he married only last year, for sale. Apparently he claims that he did it as a joke. But the sad and scary thing is he actually had a number of people ringing up about his ad. What does this say about our society and views about marriage about people? Are we going back to the days when women were considered a commodity to be bought and sold at will like a piece of household furniture? … Continue reading →

Are You Eroding Your Marriage?

Negative comments and nagging can have a similar result on a marriage as wind and waves to on a rock – they erode it. The photo below, which Mick took, is of Australia Rock, in Narooma,NSW. When I was a child my Mom always told me, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.’ It’s better to be quiet. Often when Mick and I are watching a movie or a sitcom, we see the couple having an argument. Then they start to make up and you can see it coming, the guy adds another comment that re-sparks the argument … Continue reading →

Making a New Year’s Resolution for Marriage

This is a good time to reflect and take stock and make resolutions that will improve the quality of your marriage. I loved this recipe for beauty in Zaphon a writing newsletter I periodically receive. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed – never throw out anyone. As you grow older, you will discover that you … Continue reading →

Five on Nagging – Stop Today

Some days it feels like the only way to get things done is to chase after the daughter and nag her or chase after the husband and nag him. As much as I hate being a nag, I know I’ve been one. Occasionally (really, really rarely) my husband thanks me for nagging because it keeps him on target and doesn’t let him get away with ignoring things to get done. That said, he doesn’t really like it when I nag and I don’t like nagging. We’ve worked out a lot of little ways we can communicate without the constant nagging … Continue reading →

Nagging is Not the Answer

We know this–as parents, we know that nagging is not the way to get our children do what we think they need to do, and yet we just cannot help ourselves. When I was writing earlier today about how to manage reminders as a parent, I realized that there is a difference between a reminder or reminding our children of something and nagging. A reminder can be made without emotion or annoyance, while nagging is quite different altogether. Just think of what the word means: to ask repeatedly in an annoying and persistent way, to complain, criticize or pester someone … Continue reading →

Marriage Tips: You Can’t Take It Back

When you say things that are mean or hurtful – just saying you are sorry does not make it better. In fact – no matter how you apologize for hurtful actions – you can’t take them back. Far too often we say thoughtless things or we commit thoughtless actions and while we may never have meant to give offense or hurt someone else’s feelings – inevitably we do and you can’t just take back that action – you can’t undo it and make it as though it never happened. So What Do You Do if You Can’t Take it Back? … Continue reading →

Marriage Communication: Talking Tips

Despite the fact that we learn to speak as toddlers and we learn more complex forms of language as children, learning to communicate is often confused with learning to talk and the truth is – while they are related – talking is merely a form of communication and it’s definitely not the whole shebang. Interestingly enough, communication actually gets harder when emotions are involved than when they aren’t. Imagine if you will, your communications with co-workers, instructors and other business related interactions. Your ability to clearly state and communicate your needs, desires and requirements is likely familiar, if not very … Continue reading →

Living with Engineers: It’s All in the Timing

Another engineer’s wife and I were having a discussion about household chores yesterday.  We were bemoaning the fact that if we want our husbands to do something for us, we either need to tell them right away, or it won’t happen at all. The engineer’s mind is a constant one-way track of processing information.  It’s what makes them so brilliant and efficient: they zero in on a task, giving it their complete focus until it’s done.  I’m almost always thinking about other things while I’m working on something, which is why it can take me longer to achieve something with … Continue reading →

More Tips About Protecting Your Husband’s Health

Here are some more tips to help maintain your husband’s health. Watch the cholesterol. Encourage a regular check and if it is high look at changes that will need to be made. Visit the sites below or a dietician if you’re not sure what dietary changes you will need to implement. Another problem that has occurred these days is the number of people with allergies. Some times they can be linked to certain foods, even to migraines. Some triggers to migraines are, cheese, red wine, chocolate (sorry all you chocoholics) oranges. Other health problems can be caused by preservatives. Preservative … Continue reading →

Soul Mates?

Is your spouse someone with whom you can share the innermost secrets of your heart and know you will not be judged, ridiculed or condemned? Is this what you are for your spouse – someone that he or she can always turn to – that they don’t have to think before they speak how will they react if I tell them this? This is the freedom and acceptance we should have with each other if we are really soul mates. ‘A friend is one to whom we may pour out all the contents of our heart, chaff and grain together, … Continue reading →