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Communicating about Money

One day, my husband attended a seminar and came home with two huge bags in his hands. He had been very impressed with what the instructor had to say, and purchased the learning materials he would need to embark on this course of study. He had indebted us for over $900.00, and hadn’t said one word to me beforehand. You can imagine, I was not the most amused person on the planet. In my husband’s defense, he studied the materials carefully and went on to excel in his studies. The time he invested in those studies, and the money we … Continue reading →

Leaving a Baby for the First Time

There is nothing so heart wrenching or a new parent than the moment when you need to leave your baby with someone else for the first time. Whether it is to go back to work, out on a date with your spouse, or even in the nursery at church, handing your baby over to another’s care can be really tough. Here are some tips that may make it easier. Let go of the guilt and nerves I really believe that your baby can sense your guilt or apprehension when you have to leave him or her for the first time … Continue reading →

How to Prevent Money Matters from Hurting Your Marriage

Money and financial issues are one of the leading causes of conflict leading to divorce in modern marriages. Differences of opinion on what to do with money, how to save and how to spend can make you feel as though you are constantly butting heads with your spouse. If you and your spouse agree on all money issues then congratulations. You are a rare pair. Most couples have different attitudes toward money as individuals. Even couples who are have similar values (savers, let’s say) can vary a bit within their attitudes (one likes to save a little bit more than … Continue reading →

Tips for Dealing with Argumentative Sore Spots

Do you have an argumentative sore spot in your marriage? You might even have more than one. So often in marriage we can think of the big issues like money, change, work, or family issues, as being the things we tend to keep on top of and try not to argue about. We might be really careful to discuss these issues and then find wham! It’s the little side issues that trip us up and cause to argue. I know for example, and Mick would agree, that we’ve never had problems talking about and coming to reasonable and logical decisions … Continue reading →

Don’t Fall in Love with Potential

Marriages are successful when two spouses love each other for who they are, not what they might become. But it is so easy to fall into a relationship where you love your partner for their potential not for who or what they are. While people should grow together and be more than they were when you met them, this way of being can end in marriage tragedy. We have a family friend who is in a new relationship. The couple enjoys each other, and both partners are bright, intelligent and caring people. The problem here is that in some areas, … Continue reading →

Merging Your Eating Habits

Unless the two of you met at an organic free-range food compound or an all-you-can-eat fried buffet, chances are pretty good that the eating styles of yourself and your spouse when you came into your marriage were different. You may not agree on the types of food you like, or even whether to eat out or at home. Aside from being short order cooks and making different meals or stocking food in separate refrigerators, how do you manage one household with two different approaches to meals? Here are some of the experiences of having two different eating styles, based on … Continue reading →

Seven Habits That Will Harm Your Marriage

Avoiding the following seven habits may also help you avoid a divorce. Psychiatrist William Glasser, MD and his wife, Carleen Glasser, MA, co-authored a marriage advice book called Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage. In the book, they mention “seven deadly habits” (they like numbers, it seems) that can lead to marital strife. They are: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing. It seems sometimes in our marriages that we don’t even realize that we are doing some of these things–hence the fact that they are habits I suppose. While I haven’t read the Glasser’s take on these myself, … Continue reading →

Seek Help Early with Marriage Difficulties

Did you know that the average couple waits and entire six years before asking help for marital difficulties? This fact is from the Gottman Institute, a research facility that has been studying marriage since 1973. Furthermore, most marriages end within the first seven years (also called “the seven year itch”). This is a sad state of affairs. It means that so many couples live with unhappy marriages for far too long. Unhappiness in marriage will ultimately lead to divorce in the majority of cases. Not only this, but unhappy marriages can affect the lives of the individuals themselves, subjecting them … Continue reading →

Marriage and Money: Resenting Your Spouse

This morning, I was busy monitoring an overly full stock pot that represents at least another two family meals that will will get out of a chicken that we bought on sale. I was boiling the picked clean bones to make some chicken stock that will then be turned into chicken noodle soup. The soup, along with a small salad and some bread will make a very frugal meal for us. As I was doing this, my eldest son came in to tell me exactly how much the father of one of his school mates makes each week. Knowing the … Continue reading →

How to Rediscover Dreams

I love Christmas. I have always loved Christmas. It’s not just the music, the lights, the festivities of it, though I do love them as well. It is not just the tale of the Nativity though who could not be captivated by the tale of the couple making their way slowly on a long and uncomfortable journey with a very pregnant woman who ended up giving birth in a stable because there was no room for them in the Inn. Dreaming Dreaming is an important part of marriage. When we seek to marry, we look for the man or the … Continue reading →